anna sissy doll's sissy sunrise

Dreams of 36 Days without cumming

2011-12-21T09:24:00.000-08:00

This is amazing.
he's gone 36 days without cumming and She is absolutely WICKED (and tender)
She knows what she has and She nurses it for all its worth?
Will She let him cum at last?
Tune in and see.....
http://xhamster.com/movies/851345/36_days_with_out_release.html

Bimbo Boobies

2011-10-31T12:26:00.000-07:00

Mistress Cecilia will be pleased with me.
Veronica had found me and is pleased with my training so far, my attentiveness, my openness, my willingness and eagerness to please Her whim.
Veronica is my Dream Girl!
Tall, raven hair, beautiful, artful eyes, long tall elegant body and so strong!
To feel her powerful hands on my soft smooth delicate body is to SHIVER uncontrollably!
i can tell She has plans for me, all of me, bit by bit, to sculpt and mold and shape to Her discerning tastes.
In particular, i can feel Her appetite for my soft, budding, bimbo boobies.
She wants them smooth first of all, of course.
Smooth and touchable. Her fingertips, Her nails, Her lips, Her TEETH... Her toys...
i have felt Her touch already, just a taste.
She already plays with them, tests them, teases them, tastes them, so intensely that when she kisses me afterward, Her lips taste of precious copper.
i adore Her SO!
my bimbo boobies are so much more sensitive than they ever have been before, twisting and crinkling at the merest though of Her attention.
my bimbo boobies already belong to Her. it is my deepest honor to prepare them for Her to play with and use, to fluff and develop.
Thank You, my Veronica :)
i do adore You SO! :)

EDGE!

2011-08-01T11:13:00.001-07:00

Oh god my sissy clitty is so hard and so leaky!
i can't help stroking, reading pictures and stories.
One story about a sissy who went in to buy a bra and was controlled by the sales Woman who took away sissys male clothes and made her dress up like the SLUT she was.

To keep form so much leakies, i slid on a cock ring. it made clitty get harder.
i imagined my Mistresses Voice laughing over my shoulder,
"Oh look at that, how the pretty ring makes clitty so thick and hard. What a USELESS thing -a hard sissy clitty. Who would ever want that? sissy clittys are good for nothing but teasing and torturing. *LAUGHTER*"

oh god i don't know what to do with myself!

Sissy Cockmilker

2011-07-31T13:39:00.000-07:00

i LOVE Lisabeth's Sissy Cockmilker blog!
it is such a sissy slut cumslut dream INSPIRATION!
i learn from her all the time and borrow inspiration from her as well when she reminds me of my favorite prissy pics. :)

she is inspiring me now to go on a sissy date this week! oh but how?
well its SO exciting to imagine and HOPE that i can find a sissy playmate! :)

ITS SISSY WEEK!

2011-07-31T13:26:00.000-07:00

i have a week of freedom to be the sissy slut i am meant to be!
With my Mistress Cecilia's generous help, i will make the most of this week of training and control.

oh god i am so horny i can hardly THINK!
its been two weeks since cummies and i am starting to lose it. i am leaking from just as few strokes.
i can't stop myself form having sissy thoughts. so much to do to get ready. i should be organized.
sissy needs structure and guidance.

This morning i warmed up with my tiniest buzzing sissy plug, listened to sissy recordings and chatted with sissy sluts. oh it was SOOO hard to keep clitty form squirting!

in the shower, i started my shaving. i am so nervous about it!
so i just forced myself to do a little bit. bit by bit, day by day make myself more sissy. its inevitable.

i am going to be a cock sucking sissy slut like Mistress Cecilia wants!

i also practiced on my big dildo. i used to be able to deep throat it. i hope i can again soon. :)

Its not a boy that's for sure!

2011-05-11T10:56:00.001-07:00

Pink cotton candy in my silly bimbo head

2010-07-25T01:00:00.001-07:00

It feels soooo yummy and nice! :)
Join me bimbo sisters! :)

Bimbo Lips

2010-07-25T00:21:00.000-07:00

um, i mean SISSY COCKSUCKING LIPS! :)

INTERNATIONAL FEMDOM DAY TODAY

2010-07-24T16:51:00.000-07:00

Calling all sissys!
Today is
INTERNATIONAL FEMDOM DAY!!!!

Everyone tune in tonight for my Mistress Cecilia's special session on FemDom at Talk Shoe!

THIS IS IMPORTANT!!! *heart!*
Thank You Mistress Cecilia!

Notes:
Women are: Intelligent, Beautiful, Elegant, Creative, Inspiring, Empathic, Gentle.

men are pigs.

Male Management

2010-07-24T12:57:00.000-07:00

OH WOW! What a heavenly article!
http://www.dreamloverlabs.com/emasculation.php

i'm dreaming of the Dream Lover! :)
http://www.dreamloverlabs.com/index.php

Kristin Bell's story

Male Management Technology: Wisdom :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsSi5eRyNbk

As it should be

Good Boy

No prettiness, but lovely FemDom sentiment. Beware boys!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXmrE-mIPzg&feature=fvw

New Mistress Link

2010-05-15T23:10:00.001-07:00

i must deeply apologize to the Mistress who so graciously gave me permission to link to Her wonderful training site. (Miss xxxx?)
i have misplaced her lovely email.
if She is Your Mistress, please comment or email me Her site so i can link to it. :)
Thank You!

Deep inside

2010-05-11T17:36:00.000-07:00

The plug is in me now. Two hours.
My sissycunt training is underway.
It no longer tingles. I no longer 4resisst. Ssissycu=nt likes being p[lugged now.
I thought when it went in that I wouxl agonize through the lfight, and upon arrival I would rush to remover it.
But instead, I’m afraid to remove it.
Its nice to be sissy plugged. *blushing*
I wish it were larger now.i wish it wer locked in place, so I would not be tempted to remove it.
And in a wway, it already is. Because Mistress ilai has given meHer instructions, sissy cunt needs to be etrained.
Its not up to me.
But sissycunt loves bekjng plugged, warm, comfortable, natural, sissy clitty is tingling instead. Stiff in my male disguise pants.
I proud of my sissycunt training now. I wish people could now hoe obedient I am to my Mistrtress Cecilia. 

sissy on a plane

2010-05-11T17:35:00.000-07:00

It blows my mind, training my sissycunt.
It has been so long, months, and surely the benefit of all of my previous training has vanished.
In the men’s room before the flight, I finally give in, and begin training my sissycunt. I wonder if the Men can tell what I am doing. Pink panties down around my ankles, trying not to moan as I bite my lower lip, lubing up my sissycunt and the plug, and then sliding it inside…. And a TINY yelp as I realize the lube is WARMING!
At first its VERY intense. And then it STAYS intense.
I imagine my Mistress Cecila loking me in the face knowing –and LAUGHING at my predicament.
I imagine Her reassuring me not to worry, that very soon my sissycunt will relax and enjoy the long palne flight. Then I imagine Her laughing at Her own lie, patting my cheek condescendingly, confessing the truth that the long flight is going to be unbearable, but She knows how much I enjoy proving my obedience to her so She welcomes my gratitude.
And I am grateful.
I need to train my sissycunt.
But the feeling does change. SO full, so tingly.
My clitty is very hard, hidden under the tray table.
The plug feels comfortable now, after two hours. After fighting the urge every moment to resist, to fight back.
But giving in is its own reward. The plug feels wonderful now. Ad clitty is very stiff. But NO CUMMIES!
The Man is reading now so I can type, and read. I have sissy stories.
I am reading on form Fictionmania.tv about a boy who takes a receptionist position and finds out that he must wear the standard company uniform: which is female.
And I am dreaming of being trapped like that. Of having no choice.
I have no choice.
I am just a silly sissy.
I have to obey my Mistress Cecilia’s instructions.

Thank You mistress Cecilia!

renewed sissy training

2010-05-11T17:34:00.000-07:00

I started badly.

I disobeyed.

It was a simple instruction: “No cummies!”

But it has been so long since I have been obedient, so long since Her voice has woven through my mind and kept me on the proper track to sissyhood.

And I had an accident, I made cummies.

I was so ashamed when it happened. But now I have confessed so I do feel better.

But still I feel ashamed, humiliated, unworthy. I want to make it up to Her. I need to make it up to Her.

And now here I sit, obeying Her instructions flawlessly.

She gives instructions, I obey.

It every simple, even a bubble headed sissy bimbo can do it! *giggles*

But obedience can be very difficult, challenging.

But I have no choice.

I am just a silly sissy. I have to obey. It pleases her, It amuses Her. So I have to.

“We have to train your sissycunt.”

She says so simply, matter of factly.

I want to ask her “train for what?” but I don’t get to ask questions. I get to obey. And I am so grateful for that!

I feel so special when She lets me obey her commands, its so rewarding and comfortable to obey my Mistress Cecilia. *curtsey*

So here I am, a sissy on a plane. Not so different in its beginning from one of my favorite recordings She has given us.

But this time its me.

I am a sissy.

I am on a plane, on my way to Las Vegas.

And inside of me, my sissycunt is plugged deep and full. Every second I am reminded, that I am obeying. I have to obey.

I love to obey.

I am a sissy on a plane.

I want to train my sissycunt.

I feel like people can tell by looking at me, by the way I am walking more slowly, the way my face looks distracted.

Sitting waiting for the plane to board, my brow sweats. And the plug wiggles playfully inside of me.

I am a sissy. I need to train my sissycunt.

On the plane, I wiggle my hips slowly, trying to conceal that I am fucking myself as I sit there, training my sissycunt. I am wiggling it right now, imagining I am lap dancing for some Man at Mistresses party.

Beside me is a Man. Although I am disguised as a man, inside I am a sissy slut, as Mistress Cecilia has made me. I am training my sissycunt.

The man beside me starts to talk to me. At first I am annoyed that He is distracting me form concentrating on my sissycunt training.

But then I realize what Mistress would want me to do.

Mistress would want me to submit.

He’s a handsome Man, friendly and charming.

If He knew I was just a silly sissy, he would LAUGH. I blush thinking that.

I know I have to keep secret, but I know I have to humiliate myself, even if the humiliation is only in my mind.

So I flirt with him, smiling and nodding at everything He says, touching my hair, my neck, turning to face him directly, openly.

I don’t think he realizes that I am flirting with Him now, but He does respond, getting more energetic, more friendly. And I am blushing, wiggling my hips as I sit, training my sissycunt.

When Mistress takes my training to the next level, what will be my obligation?

With my sissycunt trained, will it be put to use?

Will i be allowed to waste time and effort disguising myself as a man?

Will I board the plane to Las Vegas dressed pretty… slutty?

Will I do more than flirt?

I don’t know. I don’t get to know.

I get to obey.

I love to obey.

I am just a silly sissy, training her sissycunt on a plane going to Las Vegas.

Thank You Mistress Cecilia!

*curtsey*

Sissy Fetish enter my real world!

2010-01-17T11:36:00.000-08:00

i usually try to "mask" my stories a little bit so if some friend of mine who was present sees this blog, they won't recognize the specific situation.
But that's so silly.
So here is an incident that took place last night, at a present exchange party. s a White Elephant theme, so the presents exchanged are typically of an unusual nature. The intention is for an unappreciated gift to find a more appreciative home.
Its a parade of hideous sweaters, unwieldy candles, duplicate games and books, and "one piece of kitchenware too many" sorts of things.
Some nice stuff, some crap, most with a funny story behind them.
Then, the present that caught my eye was opened. It happened to be the (very conservative) father of the party's host of all people!
From the present bag he first pulls out a pair of red cushy handcuffs. Then a lovely black and pink leather bullwhip.
And then, a book.
But oh no, this was not jsut any book. i recognized it form across the room. This was
"Female Domination Stories Vol. 1, by Mistress Constance Pennington Smythe, Illustrations by Sardax"
i blushed and smiled in full recognition of this, my FAVORITE story book of all time!
i knew that no one in that room was prepared to behold that book. But tonight they would all get to have a look without a filter.
The Lady who brought the book told how that gift package was originially given at an OFFICE PARTY! Her husband related how he read the first paragraph of the book and had to put it down. his Wife sort of nodded in agreement that the book was "scary" and way beyond anything She had ever imagined. But then She added tellingly.
"The first chapter is all 'your are stayign here locked up wiht a pump gag so you can only breathe through your nose, you'll drink your own fluids and I'm going on a date maybe all night HUSBAND!' " showing that She was able to read the whole chapter. Then She went on to summarize several other chapters that caught her eye. "Performance Art" being one of them.

So Mistress Constance, i wanted You to know that Your wonderful work is infectious and inescapable! and what a wonderful idea: to buy a few of Your books and insert them under people's eyes. Imagining how many times the husband will read only the first paragraph, and the Wife will read the whole book. :)

Prissy Pics!

2009-08-27T02:07:00.001-07:00

Oh this is so wonderful!
Here is a galley of WONDERFUL Prissy pics! :)

http://www.imagefap.com/image.php?id=146231181

Event Horizon and all's well

2009-08-05T12:36:00.000-07:00

Oh what to say here...
In no particular order, i've just had an extraordinary three weeks, on all counts.
It begins with chastity.
The experience of surrendering that control, and then to have my helpless open mind hammered by Mistress Cecilia and all others who are kind enough to take advantage of me and hammer Their own little bit more into me. my mind opened more and more, molded into amazing new whapes i never expected.
And then to be released into the wild... to mix with others, unknowing of my condition.
i'm happy to say it was to Their advantage in every case. :)
After the first sweekend of sissy clubbing related below, i had amazing experiences on the two successive weekends, each completely unique. Neither was strictly sissy themed, but my submissive, open mind led me into amazing adventures. In one case, i was taken advantage of in a way that, if related on paper, you might say, "gosh, that's a bit much." but please trust me when i saw the experience was worth it, and my awe of Her remains positive. (This was a stranger, not anyone ever mentioned in the blog)
And after those two experiences, i find myself back on the ground. many of us in this experience face the cycle of indulge and purge. i have no intnetion of purgin at this moment, but i am definitely fully sated, if not saturated with my recent experiences. my thirst is slaked for the moment. its a very nice feeling.
If you happen to notice me away for a bit, have no worries. i will be back. And don't think of it as time away. The experinces i just had merrit a period of reverent reflection. :)

i woudl very much like to lay out my adventures so that others could follow, but although it worked perfectly for me, i shoudl not recomend them for anyone who is not me. i'm a lucky person and risky things often go my way. Perhaps i am clever. Perhaps i am a strong secure person. Perhaps being a teatotaler puts me better on my toes to handle situations well.
But you don't have to go where i went exactly.
But do go. :) Let submission and prettiness flower in your heart and go out and share yourself with the World. Let The World feast on what you have to offer, and be delighted and proud to give your gift generously. Whether you have glossy red lips or just that certain soft twinkle in your eye to signal your inner self, the World will find you and take you for a dance.

i can make one recommendation. my Mistress Cecilia did not specifically send me on these latest adventures, but She did prepare me. She is such a Good Person, takes care of me, guides me, She pushes me but is also so reasonable. i have no fear of where She sends me, or prepares me to visit. She makes me better, more fulfilled.

Thank You Mistress Cecilia. :)

sissy Girl talk

2009-07-22T21:58:00.001-07:00

i've been having so many sissy thoughts these past few days as my chastity enters two weeks!
In no particular order, here they are.

i was having a wonderful chat the other night with Miss Rachel, my T-Domme friend and She was lecturing me, and inspiring me on Female Supremacy and its wonderful Rightness. :) we dreamed together of a Femocracy, or a Fempire.

And now i am on a business trip. Oh yes, i brought FAR more sissy things with me and NO male underwear at all. i LOVE it! :) i am escorted on this trip by two Women. They joke that my role is to be quiet and just look pretty until they need me to speak. (no kidding!) i joked afterwards that every meeting we've been having has been with some Woman of authority and perhaps i'm getting a peek into the real Femocracy. They laughed, saying "he knows too much, we might have to dispose of him" But i think They were kidding. ;)

It also came up in conversation that my nails are quite long and glossy and manicured. i brought it up myself, saying that i've found it makes it easier to type on my cellphone, i have such big thumbs. (quick note here, do you have any IDEA how much a super tight corset makes you sit PERFECTLY straight up? mmmmm!) i joked that i've been "kinda having fun" seeing what its like to take care of my nails. TO illustrate that, i showed her with sorrow my one broken nail. She replied, "yeah, i saw that." telling me that They had Both been noticing my nails, right down the the chipped one.
This answered my question "Will anyone notice? i had figured women would, but everyone told me" nah, people only notice themselves."
LOL, BS! But the good news is they notice but aren't put off by it. i commented that having tried to take care of my nails, i can't believe what POOR care i used to take of my nails. i was able to chat with them about nail care quite a bit and they just slipped into girl talk about nails, about that new pedicure where the fish nibble away the dead skin, about how its not fair that a female manicure costs more than a male manicure "because they use colored nail polish" and i rolled my eyes right along with them. Even though i have no idea what a male manicure costs. ;)
So go get yourself a sissy manicure, clear glossy hardener. its WONDERFUL! :) (my stockings pull right on without any snags. :))

When we go to our table at lunch, i set my computer bag down to go to the restroom, "Can you watch my purse?" i asked. She laughed and said i can watch hers next.

Now at lunch, remember these are two professional Ladies, quite refined and no vulgarity. i ordered the asparagus salad and one of them commented, "oh i can't do asparagus, i don't want my pee to smell." Perhaps it was my imagination, but its that something Women would talk about in front of someone they considered a man, a gentleman? my goodness they thought of me as one of the girls!

So i get to my hotel room, get all pretty and on TV is a show about a TG. She's VERY pretty and her story was sweet. i do LOVE it when The Goddess who looks after we sissys
puts things like that on tv just when we are in the right mood for them. :)

The next day, the Goddess put another thing in front of me, i was at a technology museum gift shop, and of all things: A paper Doll cut out book! i snatched it up!

Now tonight, with no deadline to rush and go out, i got to play with my corset more, and this time i slowly laced it VERY tight. i'm getting better every time. i'm going to sleep in it tonight, and my bra and panties. oh this is SO fun!

EDGING

2009-07-19T19:09:00.000-07:00

OH GOD i'm so tortured today, EDGING like crazy! oh god chastity is such sweet TORTURE!!! :_)

Big Day: Epilogue

2009-07-19T16:58:00.003-07:00

(Ok, that was a HUGE day! and i've spent all day writing up this enormous blog post flood, so you know, this is the wrap up for the last five posts. i hope people can learn from my adventures and we can ll have more sissy fun! :) )

Epilogue Part 1 (you have to read both parts of this epilogue, its a happy ending)
i have to say, i felt unsatisfied driving home as the sun came up. i'd met some interesting people and had some fun chats, but they were mostly chats that i would have had anyway, just being myself. A chat with a ggirl who was very tall and our eyes met so we talked a bit. Just joking around and being funny with a few other people. A recurring flirt/chat with a very handsome and very friendly (BUT EWWW!) drug dealer (i had to compartmentalize with that one. He was wasted and smaller than me, i was never worried about him, but he's the sort of person i would NEVER come across normally so i voyeured on him as he tried to make a few deals around the club. He'd be negotiating with this one couple and he'd say "Its up to mom.") One couple took their picture with me -so those of you who always ask for my picture, there's one out there now.
But i was just being my friendly self. Chatting and meeting like i always do. No one was coming up to me, 'clearly you are a sissy slut, let me come on to you for a while and seduce you into a compromising situation" (lol, cuz that's what happens all the time to everyone else right?)
Now to be fair, some of those encounters were a bit seeded by my being en fem. i'm sure i fit in a little better and looked more at home as a tall tranny of uncertain age in my wig and make up than i would have as a 40yo guy standing alone in the rave club. And indeed, i would never have done any of that if it hadn't been for my sissyhood. :)
But in the end, i was kinda thinking that i'm just never going to get action without being a skinny club vixen. Yes, a lot of this was seed by the rejection/.abandonment of the young couple, but that's how i felt at the end of the night.

Epilogue Part 2
So then i woke up this morning. Still super horny in chastity. my thoughts on the night had changed quite a bit. i did have fun! :) And the encounter i had with the young couple was very special. No other tranny in that bar was able to do what i did with them. i'm the only pone they invited to drink with them. :) And if circumstances had been slightly different (who knows?) i'm sure i could have ended up back in their hotel room for the night, even just to crash.
But the main thought in my head was that i've GOT to refine my sexy look even more. got to become a skinny club vixen sissy slut because i DO want guys to come up to me and want to seduce me. The other TGs are quite cliquish and that's fine. I think most of them are there to hang out with each other and dance. i'm like a newbie in a chat room asking people to have cybersex in the first line of dialogue.
So i need to go back, less nervous i'll be able to be more forward, and i need some new outfits. :)
and oh GOD am i so super sissy slutty HORNY! :)

Big Day: The Endup Bar

2009-07-19T16:58:00.002-07:00

On the drive over, she was asking all kinds of curious questions about my TGhood. They were having a super night and i was happy to be adding some spice to it. I didn't mind giving them a "omigod, then we sort of hooked up with this 6'6" tall trannie who turns out he's an executive in Silicon Valley..." story) Its always fun explaining the myriad flavors of TG to people who are friendly and curious. In the club, we danced a bit, and she was dancing into me in a way that made me smile so much. She asked if i liked men or women and i answered that i've only ever been with women but that i do find handsome men attractive. In return, she said that she likes men and women. He said that he only likes women. i thought he was being a very cool good sport the way she was basically coming on to me. We chatted a bit more and i was wondering if this might lead to something interesting. A while later, i had my answer, they wanted to go dance just the two of them and i figured a 2% chance i'd see them again. (to save suspense, they didn't come back)
So now i'm standing alone on the patio outside the dance floor. This is a different setting from Divas, there actually was a handful of TGs there -girls who had also been at Divas- so i wasn't a total anomaly and there were plenty of freakily dressed club-goers to flesh out the rainbow.
Maybe a minute goes by and this really handsome wobbly guy comes up to me with MILF dotes in his eyes. He was sweet but he already at the level of drunk where he was useless except to joke with. But jeeze, then it turns out he's like a drug dealer! People were coming up to him and negotiating right in front of me. Interestingly, the man in the young couple said he was looking for some E. Had they come back the evening might have been very different all around.)
i chatted with a sexy lesbian couple about corsets and their leather hip boots.
When i was convinced that the young couple had left, i decided i could finally go. i caught a taxi back to Divas and got my car. But then i thought "well what if they are still there and they look for me and i'm gone? i didn't want to miss that chance, so i drove my car back and reentered.
They weren't there but with the crowd thinned out a bit, at least i was able to be convinced positive that they weren't. i stayed a while longer and danced some more. As it got later, there was less conversation, but the women seemed to get sexier and i danced with plenty of others.
The young couple ditching me was a bummer on the night, but everything else was a lot of fun.

Big Day: Session with Mistress Cecilia

2009-07-19T16:58:00.001-07:00

Wow.... WOW!
Sessions with Mistress Cecilia are SO WONDERFUL! its just surreal! And this one was especially special. Its such a culmination. i guess its always a culmination. She has been training me for more than two years, conditioning me to be receptive and obedient and loyal to Her lovely lovely Voice, Her Cruel Evil Laughter, so musical in my ears when She hears about my adventures at Her direction.
As always, i'm a racing chatterbox when our call begins, and She listens, opening me up, drawing me out, exposing me to Her scrutiny. And when She felt the time was right, She laid me back and Her beautiful Voice sent me into warm darkness of Her hypnotic trance.
i've been hypnotized before, but something was different this time, She said She had a new induction, and it must have really worked because i kept popping in and out, i'd have these strange little dreams and the awaken to hear her voice massaging my mind, and then i'd sink back down again. As i lay there, my breast forms were heavy on my chest, but as She took me deeper, they seemed to disappear, like they were part of me, warm, soft, tingling.
And then the SNAP, or it feels like a snap, like my body is emerging from being buried in wet sand. And everything feel so BRIGHT. Its hard to describe, you should try it. :)
i rose from the bed and Mistress Cecilia had me play dress up for Her, so She could pick what i would wear when i went out tonight. i LOVE being under Her control and care!
She had me twirl and spin and bounce through every combination (of my limited wardrobe) and She decided on the black to with the pink tartan miniskirt. She also figured out that i would wear my practical low heels up and even for most of my time at the Club, and change into my new 5" locking heels once i am there. She's so CLEVER! outwitting me every minute i am with Her! :)
Then it was make up time!
Mistress Cecilia is truly an artist! Stroke by stroke, She guided me through my make over, i confess that i am always doubtful when i begin to put on make up, but when She was finished. OMIGOD i totally looked slutty sexy! :) and in blacks and purples and pinks to match my outfit too. CLEVER! :)

i had been putting off shaving. i have some beach events coming up this summer and its made me shy, But after my session with Mistress Cecilia, there was no denying that i HAD to show off my nice legs wit that short skirt! The decision was so easy all of a sudden, so off it all came! :) She's so magical that way. :)

On the drive up to Divas, i could not stop checking myself out in the mirror. *giggles*
Thank You Mistress Cecilia!

Big Day: Corset, Dark Garden

2009-07-19T16:58:00.000-07:00

Jessica is fabulous! Again, it being my first time in a real corset store, i had all kinds of fantasy notions swirling about (perhaps the corset shop is a front for a dungeon below where wayward men are taken to be transformed into obedient sissymaids...). Reality was different of course, but in this case i was not the least bit disappointed. Jessica is beautiful, witty and comforting. i felt so relaxed and it was lots of fun and she had a nice variety of corsets even at my size level. One think i had always been intimidated about was the self-lacing. But Jessica is a wonderful instructress and with a few tries (ok, maybe i asked her to lace it onto me one or two more times than was strictly necessary), i had the knack!
my corset is a beautiful black satin waist cincher off the shelf. i hope soon to go back for a full custom model. Jessica says they can do anything, mix and match styles, any fabric, and structure it for my body and my feminine aspirations. :)
While i was there i also picked up a pair of long pink opera gloves. :)
Please everyone go to Dark Garden, ask for Jessica and buy a few corsets. Make the world a sexier place! :)
Next step: my session with Mistress Cecilia.

Big Day: Manicure with Miss Carla

2009-07-19T16:57:00.000-07:00

i've managed to grow out my nails, fingers and toes. Too long really, but i've been thinking that give more to work with. i've had a fantasy about going to a real salon to get a manicure -a feminine style manicure. (i'm sure you all know the fantasy: The owner of a regular salon is personally a Dominatrix with a cuckold sissy husband and seeing the nervous sissy walk in, She whisks him to the private back room and gives him more make over than he was ready for, including eyebrow waxing, hair color and a perm!) Asking online for a TG friendly salon in the area, i got an email suggesting "Chrisies of San Jose". i was ready to walk in, but thought to call before hand. The first person who picked up just hung up when i asked if they did feminine style manicures for men. Assuming it was a mistake rather than a brush off, i called back. This lady was an asian woman who spoke broken English and talked a mile a minutes, essentially repeating, "Yes." to anything i asked whiteout any hint of understanding or interest. So thank GOD i didn't just walk in there!
Instead i went to Carlas which was wonderful!. She did my mani pedi and my nails all look just PERFECT! It also turned out that some things i had ordered and forgotten about (i had been edging and buying one night last time i was locked up) had arrived. FUN STUFF!:

Locking high heels
Female Domination Short Stories Vol 1 by my Mistress Constance Pennington Smythe :)
Male Chastity, a Keyholders Guide
A pink petticoat
A feather duster
A slutty fishnet body stocking
And i picked up a new miniskirt and a pair of dangly earrings for good measure

It was a perfect session and i was all set. Next stop Dark Garden for my corset! :)

my Boobs! :)

2009-07-18T08:33:00.000-07:00

i'm so excited!
i'm NUTS HORNY from my chastity and with total freedom around the house this weekend, i'm 100% sissy.
Make up, high heels, panties, stockings, toys *BLUSHING* and my wonderful 44DDD sissy breasts.
last night i SLEPT with them on, on to wake up in the morning, and feel Them on my chest, heavy, warm, caressing Them and squeezing them, i LOVE LOVE LOVE Them!

Today is the day i get my corset (fingers stil crossed that they will have something for me)

Mistress Cecilia has suggested that i wear nice slacks, nice shoes, and underneath stockings and panties. i think i'll put on a bit of mascara as well and i bought a white women's belt to wear too. i'm so horny i haven't been thinking about it but come to think of it, this will be my first time out in daylight with sissy-hints in my attire. its so funny that wearing mascara and a white wide belt is somehow ok, like anyone will have any doubt!
i've been growing out my finger and toenails even applying glossy hardener on a regular basis, but they are not shaped.
So on the way up to my corset shopping, i'm going to a SALON to have a mani pedi. oh wow i'll have PRETTY fingernails. :)

This afternoon i'll have a session with Mistress Cecilia on top of everything. :D
Oh this is going to be a fun day. :)

400 Thousand!

2009-07-17T01:37:00.001-07:00

OH WOW!
FOUR HUNDRED THOUSAND VISITORS!
i'm so happy that we'll cross this threshold while i'm in chastity and free to play like i am this week! i'll have to post something special.
Stay tuned and tell a hundred thousand friends! :)

Shopping!

2009-07-17T00:59:00.000-07:00

(only Day 5 of chastity)

Oh what a drive home!

i had an hour drive home tonight, and the wishes of my T-Domme friend, Miss Rachel echoed in my ear that i should use my plug on the long drive home.

Well i did.

it never ceases to amaze me the things that suddenly become "doable" when i am in chastity and super horny. The slightest erotic suggestion becomes a Commandment!
i'm not sure i even remember everything that happened, its like i was in a trance, under remote control somehow.

The first thing is that sneaking into a fast food place to get my plug in really required being in a trance. i went in, it went in, i came out. At first its SO intense to feel the plug inside. and knowing i had an hours drive ahead, i really was ready to chicken out.
But in my head a Voice was playing, telling me that sissys are sluts and good sissy LOVE having visitors and always politely welcome uninvitied visitors at the back door looking for a good time.
SO i realized that even if it was uncomfortable, it wasn't up to me.
i'm a sissy.
i had to do it.

The drive home was long, my mind was more than wandering, it was flailing. i had to actually write down the things i knew i had to do or i knew i would forget. First stop: Old Navy.
Actually, Old Navy was nowhere on my list, but it appeared before me on my way into the Mall looking for an item. Naturally i was drawn to the women's side. Plenty of eyes were on me, but it didn't bother me, i smiled at each one as i ogled the denim miniskirts, wishing they had my size. i actually don't know my size right now, so i was imagining that the largest juuuuust might fit me. i saw a pair of white cargo pants in that same largest size. my mind sometimes tries to be sneaky, i imagined that if i could get a male item to wrap them in, i could take the cargo pants and try them on, and if they fit, i would just buy the denim miniskirt.
Because in my sissy fogged mind it was somehow ok to take womens cargo pants into the dressing room, but not a denim miniskirt. lol
But, and this is so funny, i couldn't find any mens things that appealed to me! i think i thought that in order to be convincing that "oh yeah, i'm just going into the dressing room to try on some MENs things" i have to have a men's item that i actually was interested in!

So i moved on. Next stop: Burlington.
So the items i was really looking for are to wear to my corset fitting on Saturday.
Mistress Cecilia suggested slacks, a pink, shirt, panties, stockings, and if possible, pink shoes.
i did find a pink shirt but i had to try it on. On the way to trying it on, i found my way into the women's shoe section, picked up an adorable pair of pink tennis shoes in a size too small -but maybe- so i would try them on. Next, i went down to the discount racks, and i found a pair of cargo pants in that largest size but this time i picked them up. i could try them on here and if they fit i could go back to Old Navy and grab the denim miniskirt.
i stepped toward the dressing rooms and a Woman stopped me, "Where are you going?" "Why, the dressing room." "But these are the ladies dressing rooms!"
*sighs* see what i mean by my mind just going on its own?
SO i skulked over to the men's dressing rooms. The pink shirt was perfect, the cargo pants in the largest size were NO WAY EVER! The shoes were... i had to make a practicality call on those. On the one hand, i have no problem with discomfort as the cost or pretty. But i'm already going to be wearing a gaff, and trying on a corset for the first time. Its probably not going to be constructive for the experience for my feet to be pinched into too tight shoes for no good reason.
i did pick up three pairs of thigh highs, for good measure. :)

Next stop: this is something i've been meaning to get but was never sure where to find it, a cloth measuring tape (so i can figure out my size at last!) SO right in front of me appeared a cloth/sewing store! i've never even seen one of those before, but they actually had an assortment of cloth tapes to choose from.

Final stop: Target.
Keep in mind that its getting onto two hours of plug time now and i'm walking around, its wriggling inside of me. The Voice is reminding me that my sissy bottom wants this, loves this. Its so uncomfortable to walk, but the Voice suggests that walking in such a way to reduce discomfort won't work. sissy sluts have to own it. rock those hips, FEEL him inside of me tickling me, using me to have his fun, and smile so people will wonder.
And you know what? it worked! all discomfort gone. :) Streetwalker sissy anna was loose in Target!
i had in mind to get a new pair of panties, so i'd look nice when i get fitted for my corset. But i also picked up some fresh batteries for my toys *BLUSH!* and just on the way out, i spotted the belts. Although i'm not going to be overtly fem on the outside for my corset fitting, a nice pretty belt would be allowable in my slacks. But what size? if any?
Long time readers will recall the time i had to try on pink dog collars around my neck for fit in a pet store, and so wrapping a women's belt around my waist in full view of everyone was not devastating. But it was plenty humiliating. The first time i reached for a belt (i wanted either the white one or the red one, but in order to be more low-key, i thought trying on a less flashy WOMENS's belt would be less noticeable) this GROUP of guys from central casting marched by, i did a quick move from about to wrap it around to puling the tag close to my eyes like i was inspecting fruit for blemishes.
But once they were gone, i did what i had to do. And it FIT! (well... kinda pretty much but my sissy will power is very strong!)

i still need more things but i'm on my way! Chastity is WONDERFUL!
Thank You Mistress Cecilia!

Corset me!

2009-07-15T23:11:00.000-07:00

i need your suggestions!

Oh WOW! i'm having a wonderful time!
i'm back in CHASTITY!!!

And you all know that when a sissy is in chastity, MAGICAL things happen! Suddenly all of my sissy confidence and eagerness is in full force.
This Saturday, i'm going to Dark Garden in San Francisco to get a proper CORSET! They do wonderful custom corsets with a bit of lead time, but since i only have a few weeks of free playtime, i will be looking at their off the rack options. Jessica seemed to think it was worth a look even at my size.
i'm SO EXCITED!

Jessica will be my sales girl and i'm thinking about what i should wear to the fitting. She sounds wonderful. She asked "for the purpose of this call, by what name would you liked to be called." Its pretty clear that i'm not the first male who has expressed interest in a corset.
i don't think i should go full fem, my make up skills are not ready for daylight outings *blushing*
i will definitely be wearing panties underneath.

Other people will be there, but its is definitely a sissy-in-corset-friendly place.

Please tell me what i should do to get m myself in the proper frame of mind. :)
i want to have lots of fun. Please give me any suggestions. :)

Found in Translation 2

2009-06-26T16:45:00.000-07:00

Ok, so here we go!
i started by finding my long neglected sissy plug *giggles* MMMM!!!!
Then i freshened up to prepare for my shower bath. Brush my teeth, just wake myself up. This showerbath was not just a cleansing routine, it was going to be a DATE with my sissy self. :)
Shampoo, rinse, repeat, just like it says on the bottle. Directions that men always ignore. i want my sissy hair to be fresh and lustrous.
Now for the shaving.
First my face. i don't know why, but my face was shaving VERY smooth, soft tender sissy face skin emerging underneath, imagining how pretty its going to be with proper make up on.
Now is the fun part. Of course i'm not in a position to shave all over, we never are it seems. SO many excuses to postpone that. July4th pool parties coming up etc etc.
But there are so many parts that shave so easily, secretly.
First my underarms. So nice ot have them soft and smooth, and who would ever notice?A guy would notice if a sexy girl HAD untidy underarms, but that suits me just fine. *giggles*
And well, as long as i'm there, how about my upper arms? mmm nice, and why not my entire arms? so lightly tufted to begin with, MUCH nice, slender and smoooth.
And now i notice with underarms and arms smooth, there's an areas on just the sides of my breasts... not my whole chest of course, but just the sides of my breasts, i can shave there. It actually looks odd the way it is, much nice to smooth up the sides to my nipples. And how about my nipples? The hairs that dangle over my tender stiff nipples also looks odd, so it makes perfect sense to trim back from there, a nice little clearing around each nipple. i've seen men with this pattern quite often. -At least i always assumed it was a natural growth pattern! *giggles*
And now down below. :) Clittys mound has been bathing in warm water the whole time. i took out my special shave gel (BikiniZone No Bumps Shave Gel). Oh what a WONDERFUL feeling to smooth over clittys mound! so soft and pretty, tender and sensitive. :) mmm imagining a nice sissy friend's kiss print right THERE! :) *giggles*
And continuing down, my long legs. No, i can't shave them for the same reasons as above, but ... perhaps just my thighs? Yes! :) no one notices my thighs, and they are lightly haired as well.
And so it is. Silky smooth thighs for this sissy slut!
And now for some adventure!
Its a bit warm in my room, i should get some ice. But putting on male clothes right now seems wrong.
Ah ha! *finds the complimentary robe in the drawer* oh YES! in bra and panties under my robe i will go down the hall to fetch ice! oh wow here i go! (Yes, doing this in real time!)...

OH WOW!
i never know what will happen when i do something like that. its easy to imagine some fantasy ridiculous thing happening and a FS Dominatrix stepping out of the room across at the same moment, which you know won't really happen. And i can take the risk because i know nothing is really likely to happen.
But then what DOES happen is just real and delightful.
So it happens that my room is RIGHT next to the ice machine so i was only out there for 30 seconds. But sure enough, a Japanese maid was walking right toward me and past me the moment i stepped out into the usually empty hall. It happens that my robe does not really cover my bra, so when i saw her, my face FLUSHED red and my hand flew up to cover my bra as best i could. She kept going past without any reaction. If she did notice my bra, it would be because of my sudden movement to cover more than anything.
Oh this is fun! (but maybe she's downstairs right now, dialing up her Dominatrix friend who is attending the FemDom & Sissification convention downstairs as we speak... *giggles*)

Found in Translation 1

2009-06-26T16:04:00.000-07:00

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_rq8Irz6nluA/SgxVeTbCUTI/AAAAAAAAABs/9DNoA98lTgU/s1600-h/kabuki-2-tag.jpg

Hello everyone! :)
Well, as you can see, i've been off the groove for a while. Nothing bad, don't worry, my mind just hadn't drifted to my sissy hood lately.
Until this morning. :)

Jet lag,
busy days long nights.
Finally last night
But each night listen to sissy brainwashing tapes.
i get this procrastination thing the blocks me sometimes. i worry that i wont be able to get my eyeliner off in time for a meeting, or i worry that its too late and i'm too sleepy to do a good proper job or that i don't have enough of a long time window to play as i should. All of that adds up to me just not feeling inspired to step through the looking glass.

So jet lag for me is like this: i go to bed as best i can, like 9-10pm. The days are long and tiring so i can go to sleep easily (especially with my sissy hypnosis recordings massaging my mind!).
But then you wake up as your various body-alarm-clock's from back home go off.
So at about 11pm, i sit BOLT upright (feeling its 9am back home, way late time to dash to work!) but looking outside, its totally dark, so i convince myself to go back to sleep. Then again i WAKE up at about 4am. That must be my Saturday noon snooze alarm body clock. Asleep again and next i wake about 8am which is just right to start the day.

But lat night and this morning were different. After a week of coming back to my room, wanting to have some sissy time, i had one last round of procrastination. i worried that i would sleep in till noon and have to race to the airport to catch my plane (6pm tonight!) Yes, i was being silly, but as i said, the inspiration simply was not seizing me. To be fair, i'm sure i was pretty tired.
But this morning... i did not wake up at all last night, when i did wake up, it was the same moment of near panic, "where am i?, oh god what time is it? i KNOW it must be, like, ten minutes before my plane leaves... because i feel completely rested"
But it was 6:30am. :)
i felt completely rested, completely unhurried...
and my bra and panties and make up kit beckoned irresistibly. :)

Here we go, its SISSY TIME! :)

Story Time

2009-05-12T17:57:00.000-07:00

A feminization hypno tale. Although i know its not the preferred path (its just not reasonable to have any plans that involve handing a story to your Wife and expeect it to "turn Her on" to FemDom/sissification), i am alwasy on the look out for a stroy of feminization that i might share wiht my Wife. This one comes close. :)
http://www.missvicky.net/Fiction/hynopanties.htm

A Treasure Trove of wonderful feminization stroies:
http://www.missvicky.net/fiction%20index.htm

my dreams

2009-05-04T13:25:00.000-07:00

i have so many sissy dreams.

Mistress Cecilia has this effect on me that i can't hold the dreams in. Some of them scare me to voice... and excite me.

But Mistress Cecilia insists that i be completely open and honest with Her. and She deserves that.

So i must confess, the sissy thoughts in my head.

i dream of setting aside several days, and spending more time per day pretty than disguised as a boy.
i dream of laying out in the sun... and getting a sissy bikini tan line.
i dream of getting my ears pierced.
i dream of going to a salon, and having my hair styled, colored... eyebrows plucked, long acrylic nails applied, bikini wax. EVERYthing waxed...
i dream of getting on a plane, going to Vegas. The only male items in my possession would be the shirt and pants that i wear over feminine underthings, even pretty women's shoes on my feet. To spend every moment of a long weekend en femme in the town.
And of course, i am also dreaming about having SISSY DATES!
*blushes*

oh Mistress i am so HELPLESS! i can feel You washing away my resistance. oh my god what am i becoming? :)

Thank You Mistress Cecilia. :)
*curtsy*

A Dream is a wish your heart makes

2009-05-02T23:38:00.000-07:00

i can't express how happy and proud it makes me feel to write this line and the words that follow it:

i used to think that all these stories were just made up. But listen to what actually happened to me!

Remember Penthouse Letters?
No, me and a buddy didn't happen upon the Swedish bikini teams travel van with engine trouble. Nor did i deliver a pizza to a sorority initiation ritual.

But this really did happen.

So i've been locked up for a week now. i'm quote horny, but not out of my mind. i've had enough experience that the sense of panic is less that it was at first. So i can focus.
On Her.

Tonight, we went out for a nice dinner. i was honestly sitting there the whole time just ogling her in every aspect of how wonderful she is: sexy, intelligent, gorgeous, funny. i truly do worship Her. A few references were made to my chastity, as She teased me.
But it was chit chat, She talked, i listened.

Being locked up, i have learned, i have learned to accept that i am in NO position to manipulate the circumstances to my advantage for "scoring position". Its just silly to do so. my only other choice is to let the evening unfold on Her terms, and follow along cheerfully.

So when we get home, She asks for a leg massage.
Upstairs She sends me to get the oil. She stops me and has me remove my clothes, to show her what panties i am wearing today. She laughs at the pink thong covered with hearts and a little bow at the back. "I approve, those do nicely."
i have hardly dared to dream that She would move toward Dominating me and sissifying me, but slowly, each time She goes a little further...

While i'm massaging Her legs, (oh what HEAVEN!) She puts Her foot on my caged crotch, winces and pulls back her tender foot after pressing on the plastic cage and lock, "Ouch! i can feel the teeth... *giggles* but i suppose not nearly as much as you can."
And She LAUGHED! and of course i continued massaging Her lets, kissing Her knee to show that it arouses me when She gets like that.

i take every opportunity to show Her that i am enjoying Her indulgence, taking advantage of my predicament.

When She knows i cannot and will try to manipulate Her into sex on my terms, She relaxes, takes her time, tries things. She sends me back up stairs several times, having me bring down different lingerie for Her to try on and model for me, teasing me to be sure, but She was also enjoying Herself.

Massaging Her is such a dream! And when it suits Her, She sends me upstairs to fetch Her vibrator and Her Dildo.
She rewards me by letting me kiss Her Pussy and then fucking Her with the dildo.
Watching Her body crash through waves of orgasms with hurricane force is just BREATHTAKING! i am so honored to be a part of it! my own orgasms only seem tinier and tinier more and more meaningless in comparison. Truly,

She is learning, but She learns fast. She asks me how i feel just watching, just helping. and She smile at my answers, and has me fuck her harder with the dildo, SO MUCH BIGGER than my clitty ever could be. She even cries out that i have to watch the BIG COCK fucking Her. (GOD, She's reading my mind full of cuck fantasies!)

She goes on and on, so much longer than if i had been fucking Her with my own cock -like in the old days.

And when She is finished, She has me massage her body lightly. Then She has me wash the items and return them to their place. And She asks for a hot tub.
i prepare Her a cold drink and escort Her to the hot tub, joining Her.

She is completely satisfied. i have no idea if She is finished for the night. i do know that i am out of my mind aroused. But i also know that whether or not i am released and used is not up to me in the slightest.

What happens next amazes me. Ever part of my male mind is spinning, imagining how to manipulate the situation. Watching for an opening, thinking of ways to advance things.
But She is so far ahead of me. She changes the conversation to chit chat, not even to tease me, She is simply done with sex for now. and i have no choice.
And its a delightful conversation.

In the old days, i would have pressed my advantage, had my way, and in a short while would have been conked out.
But Her way... the sex lasted hours, and was followed by nurturing, delightful conversation.

She was Right.
She is a Goddess, so worthy of worship and devotion.
And She enjoys me being locked and in panties. SWOON!

When She finally went to bed? i had thoughts of a last chance to earn release tonight.
But She was reclined on the bed, peaceful, but not asleep.

"Light massage."
Her lips whispered, hardly stirring.
and i knew i had reached nirvana.
She had no intention at all of giving me release.
She wanted me to massage Her lightly until She fell asleep. -which She did. so lovely! :)

oh She IS a Goddess! such an HONOR!
and now i may pay tribute to Her in the form of suffering all night long, stiff caged clitty in nearly constant "4am wake up call" discomfort.

oh i'm so happy! :_)

Tech Notes

2009-05-01T23:24:00.000-07:00

i know i always wondered "what would it be like?" and "how would that work?"

So here are a few things, written as plainly as i can manage.

Cleaning:
i try to pay extra attention in the shower by flowing water and soap into the tube. i am able to push clitty all the way out to the tip and pull it back quite a bit, thus making a bit of a piston so i can at least flow soapy water all around the insides. A hard to get at area is the underside of clitty at the base. its a deep crease that my puffed out balls make when caged.
i used to be timid about puling and stretching my ballsies, but now i am quite direct with them, puling them to open the crease to water flow.
i hear of sissys using squirt bottles and i think that would be better for controlling water flow to any part of the cage.
During my last round, i encountered an unusual smell from clitty. It was unusual in that it was not your typical feculant aroma, but very musky. i judged it to be unhygienic but was not able to get rid of it with my ineffective soapy water wash method. So i dipped cotton swabs in rubbing alcohol, and wiped them through that crease and between my balls and the ring, and the pushed the swab inside of the tube, swirling it around clitty.
Yes, you read that right.
And yes, the delayed reaction allowed me to coat almost all of my balls and penis with rubbing alcohol before the INTENSE BURNING began.
Luckily, i kinda like that sorta thing. ;)

For this round, i am using Hydrogen Peroxide. it doesn't sting but seems to be cleaning things nicely, no smells, but its only been one week.

Lubrication
i also use a cotton swam and baby oil once a day, dabbing around the ring and inside of the tube. This lets clitty expand inside of the tube freely, and lets the ring slide around without pinching or stretching.

Injuries
Last time, i was in my cage for 25 days. When i came out, clitty was oddly shaped, bumpy texture on the sheath skin, and the sensation of being out was very strange. When i masturbated multiple times that night, clitty got very mild blisters. Apparently inside the tube, clitty skin gets very tender and fragile. -As opposed to being ulocked when clitty skin gets lots of attention and perhaps calluses in some way.
i did have an abrasion at the 2 O'clock position of my ring. It seems to come from the gap in my ring. There are no rough edged, only rounded edges where the ring is jointed. But it seems to be enough. This would not be good for longer term wear, but i'm curious to see what will happen as time goes by. Will the skin toughen up adn calluse? or will it stay a red sore abrasion spot?
i'm not sure how to mitigate that. maybe tuck some tissue in between.
But that means more tightness...

4am wake up calls
i'm getting a lot more of these this time that i've had other times. But they are bothering me less.
i remember the first time i got a 4am wake up call, i just panicked and popped it off. i was sleepy, groggy headed and without disipline. i thought something had gone horribly wrong.
The second time, i would wake up, kiss my Wifes shoulder and go suffer for a while unti it subsided.

But now, i am more aware and familar. Its a fact that you go through an approximately 90 minute sleep cycle through the night with periods of deep and light sleep. The wake up calls seem to be striking me on every light cycle period. So i wake up pretty easily.
Then i go sit on the toilet, usually pee a little bit, and by then the pain has subsided. i'm only awake out of bed for 5-10 minutes and right back to sleep. i think i am learning to do this.

i'm convinced that the "reset button" i peeing. SO in order to pee, i have to be able to pee. SO i drink extra in the evening.
This works great in that i can reset and go back to sleep, but it is making me have lots of wake up calls (bladder pressure can trigger erections -morning wood)
i have not found the happy medium yet, but for now i'm content to be woken up every few hours if i can go right back to sleep.

Its Wonderful Horrible

2009-05-01T22:59:00.000-07:00

OUCHIES!
oh god my caged clitty is so HARD right now!
and the points of intrigue are BITING!

but it is making me harder...
i should stop, but i can't.
Mistress Cecilia has addicted me.
i have three slut chats going at once. i'm torturing myself while She laughs. i am so helpless. She is in control of me.

To be controlled is so WONDERFUL But of course, it was never up to me. Mistress Cecilia owns me, completely.
oh GOD clitty is so hard in its toothed cage right now!
*SOBBING!*
*SMILING!*

The Thing is

2009-04-29T13:54:00.000-07:00

SO this will be my third round of being locked up, by my official unofficial count.
Each time has been a bit longer with a long stretch in between for reflection.
While its always a new experience, this time i am discovering a new element: familiarity.
i've been imagining it in my mind so vividly, being locked up, being sissified.
and now that it is happening.. it feels natural.
This morning, when i went to the gym, i cam THIS close to just shucking down my boxers -which would have revealed my pink thong and under that my caged clitty!

oh my GOD what has Mistress Cecilia done to my mind that i feel NATURAL and comfortable about myself to almost do THAT!

What has She done to me... i am so helpless, no self preservation control left, no resistance, only obedience.
all that matters is Mistress Cecilia's' wishes.... i am helpless to stop what She is doing to me...
oh god i'm becoming a sissy slut!

PS: and YES! in my second day, i am going CRAZY already! every image i see or imagine makes clitty TWITCH with need -that is no longer mine to satisfy.
i am cock controlled.

LOCKED!

2009-04-27T13:10:00.000-07:00

RE-LOCKED
Oh god this is it!
She's relocked me after that hiatus. Each time She re-locks me, She is more skillful and cunning. She knows how to sneak up on me, how to make things suit Her advantage.
She just laughed at me this morning, casually announcing that it was time for me to be relocked.

i wasn't ready.
No, that's not right. i'm always ready. What i mean is that i wasn't in the mood. Not that i wasn't a second after She suggested it. i was just rushing through morning routine off to the office. She snatched me out of that into chastity land.
She knew exactly what She was doing, taking control over me.

And in a flash, here i am, at the office, VERY aware of my locked clitty, sheathed in pink panties -panties are "necessary?" because otherwise the lock will knock. and that would be humiliating.

It happens to be that last night i had a very good deep long wank. So the "need" is not paramount at this moment.
But this makes it that much worse. i know the fuse is lit... hour by hour, my arousal is building.
i can ignore my locked clitty right now, but very soon,
i'll have some naughty thought, and reach down for a little rub -and realize.
i AM LOCKED!

oh i'm going to be SO HELPLESS!!!
(Thank You Mistress Cecilia!)

Musical Intermission

2009-03-22T05:19:00.000-07:00

Oh so much to catch up on!
All is good. :)
She has unlocked me, but will locke me up again soon. This is so mind blowing!
And i have to give backgroudn on the Tea Society link. Check that out.

Meanwhile, here's some fun music. :)

Do you want to go to bed with me?

Alex Gaudino -Destination Unknown

Benny Banassi -Satisfaction (Power Tools)

Perfect Exceeder -I'm Perfect

The Girl Can't Help It

Ah... but there IS a heaven! And these will lift you higher towards it! :)

Ladys Tea Society

2009-03-19T01:07:00.000-07:00

http://www.twistedteas.org/begin.htm

UNLOCKED!

2009-03-18T13:08:00.000-07:00

OH goodness!
i've been having more and more morning wake up calls.
i remember before i would have like one or maybe two in a night, but the past few days i've been having a DOZEN, like every half hour. i get up, try to pee, and the swelling goes down a bit, but i like down and have naughty thoughts and dreams and the swelling comes right back.

The heart breaking thing about 4am wake up calls is that one s mind is not clear. Its so hard to focus on the long term. It is easy to focus on consideration for Mistress, to not bother Her, pester Her with my unimportant problem of minor discomfort. She is only to be worshiped, perhaps a kiss to Her sleeping shoulder as She sleeps Regal sleep.

But last night it got to be too much for me. Intellectually, fuzzy though that was, i knew i was not in danger, but i didn't want to miss a whole night's sleep.
So i woke Her and asked, to be unlocked.

Its been 25 days total chastity.

Funny thing is, She actually HAD forgotten where She kept the key! SO now i'm wondering if She really DOES have long term plans for keeping me locked up! Or maybe more appropriately, the thought of unlocking me simply doesn't occur to Her.

Either way, i'm VERY happy with how She responded.

So milestones:
This is the longest i have gone without orgasm in my life since my first orgasm. WOW!
And its not over, i have not cum yet, but She seems intent on "using" me tonight.

chastity is such wonderful bliss!
oh to be blueballed and denied!

Tea Party

2009-03-17T13:48:00.000-07:00

Hello julie slut!

Have a drink of water.
Wasn't this afternoon and this evening wonderful?
i just KNEW we would attract lots of the right kind of attention. and YOU you slut! up on the bar dancing like that, oh that's right, i was up there with you! *giggles*
well you looked gorgeous, you really SHOULD have been a stripper, you are a NATURAL (attention whore!)
Have another drink of water. you really should replenish your fluids after a night like that.

Its been such a long, wonderful day, but we have such a long wonderful NIGHT ahead of us. *smiles*
Have another drink of water. Let me top you off.

Refreshing isn't it?
Yes, we have alll night long now, to freshen up.
We'll undress, maybe slip into a nice hot long bath...
And yes... i've been wanting to kiss you all night long.
*giggles*
Yes i know i've BEEN kissing you all night long, but i want to kiss you more.

i'm just so thirsty tonight.
But that's just fine. After we finish these pitchers of water, later on, we can have something else to drink.

Oh Yes its going to be a wonderful long night! :) *sissy kiss*

Office Role Play

2009-03-17T13:12:00.000-07:00

It just be my imagination...
my hyper aroused chastized sissy brain on overdrive?

But it seems that my Mistress Cecilia has sprinkled reminders and incentives all around me to nudge me farther into sissyhood in daily life, to humiliate me and intrigue me.

So at work, we have an online training program. Courses that HR requires us to take from time to time about policies and how to get along etc.

(Its rather like one of those mind control stories we read: sitting facing the screen, headphones on, as the program installs suggestions into my mind. :)

This one was about sexual harassment.
The video addresses me and instructs me,
"To facilitate your understanding of this subject, we will take you through a role play of a real office situation. In this example, you will be playing the role of Gina."

i wanted to protest, "But i'm a guy!"
and the computer would have responded, "we can't change the order, this is just the next card that came up. Just go along with it, you can't ruin the lesson with your squeamishness."
and i sulked into my position, taking the role of the harassed woman.

The thing is, these things ONLY ever happen to me!
Is Mistress Cecilia training me to be accustomed to being sexually harassed, as a submissive sissy for everyone to pick on?

Only She knows for sure...

SUCH AGONY

2009-03-14T03:46:00.000-07:00

oh i am NOT used to this!

so MANY pretty pictures and wonderful sissy cuck thoughts SWIRLING in my ditzy head!
and all of them TEASE!!!
And so i "edge" i cannot rub but clitty gets HARD.
And i am so terrified, because when i stop, it will be BLUEBALLS!!!

SOBBING SOBBING SOBBING!!!

Oh THANK YOU MISTRESS CECILIA!

sissy kisses for julie slut

2009-03-14T03:08:00.000-07:00

oh julie slut!
Look at those pretty sissy lips right below!

YES i am dreaming of our sissy date amd having LOTS of soft tender

sissy kisses

all night long! :)

Sissy World

2009-03-14T01:59:00.001-07:00

Mistress Cecilia has changed my world.
i do believe that She wields that magic of The Goddess, and spins my world so i fall into sissyhood.
i dream of sissy kisses. *blushing*

People around me say things that they would not say around a Real Man. Things come up in work conversation that never came up before. i am surrounded reminders and encouragements of my sissyhood and chastity.

So at work, there is a project that will involve a few of us being videotaped. Three of us were talking about it, its always interesting to see how people come across when on camera. The Man in the group pointed to me and another woman and asked, "it will be interesting to see which of you glam up the most on camera."
?????!!!!!
Keep in mind, i am a MALE at the office! Why should he use those words and why would he associate me with the other woman? But he did. And he didn't say it to be ironic of teasing. It was just the most natural way for him to state it!

AND THEN! This just CAN'T be a coincidence...
Our products have a tamper proof cage around them for field trials before the product is publicly announced. Today, as i stood talking to an engineer, (of course underneath my clothes i was wearing pink panties and a cb3000)
He begins speaking of the cages, calling them chastity belts. The conversation went on for some time. Over and over, "chastity cages" were mentioned.

POLL: You tell me how many times you have used the word "Chastity cage" in a professional conversation!

Its my Mistress Cecilia. She has changed everything. i cannot hide. i cannot deny what i am.
i am a sissy slut, chastized as i should be.
Thank You Mistress Cecilia! :_)
*curtsey*

Date Dreams

2009-03-12T00:55:00.000-07:00

Hello sissy slut julie. :)
i've been date dreaming... :)

This is so silly, you have to promise not to laugh!
But i was thinking about what you said, about how you could not go out en feme because people might recognize you.
Even though it will be my first time too, i am braver, but i don't think you being seen with a sissy MILF would be any better.

But i was thinking... when i am with you, i KNOW i will be feeling like a PURE sissy on the inside, and it will sparkle in my eyes.
And i think maybe you will too.

So what if we went out with that feeling inside, and looking across the table, each of us sees a handsome gentleman taking us out for dinner, imagining ourselves to be blushing debutantes...

What an interesting evening that could be. :)

i'm also thinking that a hypnosis session with Mistress Cecilia could make that work very well... :)

Oh, and i also have in mind that we will be ordering pitchers of iced tea. ;)

Tuff as nails

2009-03-11T00:36:00.000-07:00

Mistress Cecilia warned me.
Well... not so much warned me as told me.
...um, actually, come to think of it, its more like She brainwashed me with hypnosis and planted suggestions in my mind that make me susceptible to Her whim for the tole She has planned for me. *giggles*

But i do remember that afternoon, my first hypnosis with Her. my body was lotioned, perfumed, and i was pretty. Her words flowed into my open mind and took root.

And i knew then that She was right.
i would find myselt treated more and more as a sissy, welcomed by other women as a "friend". They will accept me into Their girlish conversations, about clothes, gossip and even Men...
i'll find myself in situations and conversations that no Man ever would.

Because They can tell i am not a threat. Just a delicate sweety. They aren't put off by it either. They accept me, enjoy sharing femine moments with me, giggling, toucing my forearm and thigh as we chatter. It not being a sexual thing at all, just being friendly with one of the girls.

Even my Wife.

So when i mentioned the other day that i use my thumbnail to key my cell phone and i was worried that it would fracture.
She smiled and dissapears for a moment, returning with an arm load of items.
"This is to shape your nail.
Then use this one to smooth the rough edges down.
And this is nail hardener."

And ten minutes later, i was applying nail hardener to my nicely shaped thumbnail and i saw....
"HEY! this is... this is all shiny!"
She laughed, "You'll get used to it. It looks nice."

So now i am walking around with a GLEAMING sissy thumbnail, standing out like a glamorous (not sore!) thumb.

i have this feeling that its only a matter of time until She suggests my nails are uneven, and i really should harden all of them.
Mistress Cecilia has teleported me into a Vickie Tern story!
(Thank You Mistress Cecilia!)

julie and anna sittin' in a tree

2009-03-09T07:20:00.000-07:00

Oh julie slut! you crack me up! :) i was SO thinking the same thing!"julie and anna sissin' in a tree..."we're going to have a BLAST!
This is so So SO COOL! Eight months to build up to our first date (and lots of other firsts!)*giggles*... and eight months to goof it up too. We sissys can be such drama queens!

i hope everyone enjoys watching us and helping us, encouraging us and even copying us!sissy romance is in the air! :)For those of you following along at home, julie and i met at least a year ago, i think at Chastity Lifestyle, or Chastity Mansion, and through Mistress Constance Pennington Smythe's circle.

We've chatted several times and been on each other's threads. i've always thought she was sexy and adorable.

And then suddenly last night she YIM'd me.

We just hit it off so sweetly, and when we realized that she would be in my area this November, we both got super excited about the prospect of arranging a sissy date!

i think its just perfect to have a long lead up to this. Is it possible to make too big a deal of a first date? YES! *giggles* but those of us in chastity understand, its the tease and denial that's wonderful. :)

So now we look forward to everyon's help and advise and encouragement. Should i let julie get to first base on our very first date? *giggles*

RELOCKED and then some!

2009-03-08T01:30:00.000-08:00

Oh goodness! i'm locked up again! :)
It did not happen the way i thought it would.

Remember She has put me on a diet, with releases contingent on meeting loss goals.
So i had come within one pound of that goal, and that happened to be when She got in a bad mood. Not aimed at me, just not feeling well, and not feeling playfull. At teh same time, i had a big presentation and She wnated me to get a good un(wake up call)interrupted sleep so She released me.
in my mind i was certainly still obligated to be chaste, just a day or two to check things out and heal, and have soem fun edging, but NO CUMMIES!
and i did that, i was obedient. :) i knew that i had not yet reached my loss goal.

The few days tuned into almost a week. She was feeling better, but schedules had not yet lent themselves to a relock ceremony. But i knew She would lock me again.
On Saturday, i was home alone, so i thought to experiment with the cage a lilttle. my fit in the cage is good, but i wanted to get more of it inside. i had heard of using a stocking to "pull" in. i tried that method using a sheer scarf.
it worked! maybe even too well. All of the side sleeve skin was pulled to the tip, making me look uncircumcised (i am cut). It did not feel right, but it was not awful. i decided to let it set for a while to see what happens, if things would rearrange themelves. i put the lock in place but did not click it locked. that is for Her only.

Then She came back home. i mentioned that i was trying something with the cage. She smiled and asked to look. She approved adn then saw the open lock, "OH! its unlocked! we can't have that!" and She snapped it closed, as is Her right. i was completely unprepared for that. i dont know why, but i feel her power SWEEP through me. and i KISSED Her to show my gratitude.
And in fact, it was a HUGE relief to be safely locked up again. :)

She then reviewed my weight loss targets, -not to my liking:
"So, let's see, the first target was ten pounds, so now you have to lose ten more in order to earn release."
"B..b.bbbb but i didn't get to cum yet becasue i was waiting until i lost the ten pounds. You cna't make me wait until TWENTY pounds now!"
and SHe jsut laughed, clearly enjoying Her power.
"and of course you will continue to take care of the house, you're doing SUCH a good job of that."
i all but fell to my knees, kissing Her, praising Her for being such a cruel Bitch Goddess.
and She smiled.

i am a VERY happy chastized hubby!

sissy days

2009-03-05T19:38:00.000-08:00

They know.
Mistress told me long ago, that the Women around me would sense that i was a sissy, and begin to treat me differently.
She said they would start to talk to me about differnt things than They would with a real man. They would welcome me into thier feminine conversations. And they would start to take advantage of me.
They would test me, see how UNman i was.

And like Everything that Mistress teaches me, it is coming true.
Today, (and for the record, as i am every day now, in panties, today my favorite fancy pair of berry hip huggers with lace trim) i had a roadtrip wiht a woman i work with. oh my GOD! all the way out, it was boy talk! and clothes!
Then she moticed that my thumbnail is rather long. i explained (excused!) that i keep it a little long so i can use it for my blackberry. She chhuckled at the odd sounding explanation (its TRUE!)
Then, as i was driving, She took my hand, and took out her nail file and proceeded to give me a thumbacure!
i was totally helpless! Driving as i was, i might as well have been tied to a vanity chair! She held my hand and totally sculpted my thumbnail, commenting on how it loks much nicer when its taken care of, teasing me, saing i really have quite pretty hands, suggesting lotions i should use.
She was totaly enjoying it! and i was BEET red every second!
If her phone hadn't rung, i have no doubt she would have proceeded to polish it on top of everything. i would have had no way of stoping Her.
But of course, that is always the case.

PS: my thumbnail DOES look very pretty now... so symetrical, a perfect oval. the other nails looks silly next to it. i'll have to do them all now... *blushing smiles*

Edgeless

2009-03-05T01:34:00.000-08:00

Its frightening. Things are starting to change.
although i have remained chaste, i have been out of my cage for a few days. Time to heal and readjust. But NOT to cum. to make cummies would be stealing. my clitty is Controlled.

i had imagined that i could enjoy stroking, edging. i've always been able to do that, to stroke and stroke, stopping obediently, enjoying the agony of the edge.

But now... i am so close to cuming at all times. Just a few strokes and i am nearly there! its so DANGEROUS! i'm so afraid that i will cum accidentally, on the SHAME and disrespect for Mistress that would be! i cannot allow that.

and so i suffer, watching... (and instead of watching the slut enjoy herself, i imaging that i am she... taking it like a good slut)
but not even a single stroke.
Oh MISTRESS its such agony!!!

Beautiful Dreams

2009-03-04T01:54:00.000-08:00

i found these lovely words on Miss Honey's Honey Hive blog. Thank You Miss Honey for sharing them with us! THey are so inspiring, such a dream to be so devoted, controlled, by such a tender, loving Mistress. :)

The list had grown long. Permission had to be sought for the most common of things. To sit where I said. To eat what I said. To give or receive pleasure. Kneeling was the norm. Naked was the norm. Food on the floor to eat if permission was given. Pleasure only came after pain. A mark upon skin was necessary before any sleep. Sleep meant bound in some creative way. Something was to be inside a hole at all times. The only reading allowed was the most dirty that could be found. The only magazines allowed showed men and women in various stages of abuse or use. A snap of the fingers meant down on knees, ass up and ready. And on and on the list went until even I who created it lost track on occasion.

There were dark circle under eyes. Exhaustion was taking its toll on my darling. I thought for this one day to give back to this one who gave so much to me.

“Come here.” I said sitting casually on the couch. Crawling to me head hung low I smiled. Always gave me everything. I said never look me in my eyes without permission and never did it happen after that. “I have gift for you. Look at me.” Eyes met mine and I was startled as always at the deep blue. I missed how pretty those eyes were. “Today is your birthday and today you are free. Not one rule applies for twenty-four hours. All of the list is suspended for this time, that is my birthday gift to you.”

I was startled by the tears that filled those beautiful blue eyes. They began to fall, those tears, stream down cheeks, fall onto my feet. And then just two words that took me entirely by surprise.

Freedom Trap

2009-03-04T01:33:00.000-08:00

oh i am going so NUTS!
i am getting so i am afraid of having naughty thoughts, becasueit hurts, but it hurts so DIVINELY!
adn now i have foudn that that i will be alone for three weeks this summer.
i have confided in Mistress Cecilia, exposing myself to Her explitation.

oh god i am so HORNY right now, edging over and over and over....
i just don't know WHAT i might do if SHe simply requested it!

i am HER plaything!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6SEv3icb7o&feature=related

Its like EVERYTHING, everywehre i look, is programming me, wearing me down, so i will accept whatever Mistress Cecilia chooses for me to entertain Her.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAZKqoTFPvk

BLUEBALLS of Paradise

2009-03-02T18:36:00.000-08:00

oh ... my... GOD

This is so hard. to be unlocked. its such a cruel test.
i HAVE been stroking my clitty. but i DARE not cum.
its such a strange feeling, to be able to stroke. my clitty is very tender and sensitive. it quickly got "blistery" but still i did not stop stroking. Clitty was so hard, so sensitive. i had to keep stroking. i knew... well i did NOT know when i might be able to stroke again, once She locks me up again. SO i had to. but i DARE NOT cum!
Watchign porno movie clips, the kidn that once, i woudl have wanted and spurted in the first minute. But instead, i watched the entire movie, edging myslef over and over, constantly.
Oh god i'm near TEARS of frustration!

And at last, my might ends, NO CUMMIES. and i go up to bed to have at least a few hours of sleep. my balls feel HUGE and leathery, having been cinched TIGHT all week.

and dear god... BLUBALLS the likes of which i have NEVER suffered overtake me, my eyes wet. my Wife stirrs adn sees me get into bed. i confess to Her that i am in bluballs, not thoguth seekign sympathy, rather i am proud of myself for having been obedient, not cum.
She smiles and rolls over, throwing back at me a secret i confided in Her many years ago: "blueballs go away".

and so i laid there simmering in blueball agony.

oh my god, THANK YOU MISTRESS!!!

UNLOCKED!

2009-03-01T22:32:00.000-08:00

oh this is almost SCARY!
i've been unlocked, for one night. Partly as a status check, partly so i get a super good nights sleep for a big presentation tomorrow, and above all, to TEST me!
SO here i am, SQURMING, i confess that i have been touching.. oh i HOPE i can be a good obedient sissy!
oh i'm PRAYING to my Mistress Cecilia for obedience and strength!

Pantylines

2009-03-01T13:54:00.000-08:00

In addition to being locked into chastity (day 8!), my WIfe has me wearing panties every day.
my mind just reels every minute of every day with the new sensations, all heightened by my frustration and arousal. :_)
And every once in a while, i realize that i am more exposed than i thought.

At the gym yesterday, i was getting a drink of water at the fountain. As i stepped up to it, two guys got in line behind me. And i bent over... and i FLUSHED dark red wondering if my whale tail was showing! And this pair of panties was no excusable lavender or pastel pink... it was FIERY pink and red hearts with a whale tail that comes together to form a lacey heart!
oh god i clenched and froze, helpless. its so hard to "feel' what is back there! The waistband of my shorts, my boxers and my PANTIES! and my shirt hanging over all of it, but sometimes not.
and yes, my clity TWITCHED, imagining how Mistress Cecilia would have been LAUGHING at me!

i survived public embarrassment, but privately i was so mortified!
So the rest of the day i was SUPER aware of my panties. and i was wondering if PANTYLINES were showing, even through my loose shorts.
i was not able to tell, i was too embarrassed to twist and turn and check out my derriere in the big mirrors, so all i could do was touch and doing that i could certainly feel my panties doing that so it did not help me relax.

When i got home, i was BURNING with curiosity so i posed in front of my Wife and asked her if "my pantylines were showing"
She laughed.
and added, "actually those kind of panties you bought are meant to not show pantylines, so you are just fine."

And i blushed again. "my panties"

The Game

2009-02-27T22:01:00.000-08:00

Here's a game that all of you can play with your Wife.

Its a common topic among sissy/chastized/cuckold dreamers, "How can i get my Wife to cuckold me?" Its a silly question and the very PREMISE of inducing Your Superior Wife to do anything She is not inclined for is ridiculous.

But *i've* got an idea! This just happened to me by accident.

One morning, i noticed that my shaving cream was at the sink
(i shave in the shower instead of the sink like most men do ((or should i say, like MEN do? giggles)), she shaves in the bathtub).
i took it in my hand and went out to the bedroom, a playful smile on my lips, accusing Her, "Ahem, please tell Your BOYFRIEND to put the shaving cream back in the shower when he's done."

She laughed and took the shaving cream from me and put it back in the shower without explanation.

This gave me an idea of continuing the little game. Now any time i see something out of place, i pretend like i'm suspicious, but always with a playful grin and accuse her boyfriend of leaving things untidy.

If she buys something that is not our usual brand, "Oh, i suppose our regular brand isn't good enough for your boyfriend?" new item purchased
If She's ever late, i'll playfully tease Her, "So your boyfriend wouldn't let got of You, eh?"

If She buys a new outfit, "Oh, Your boyfriend's going to love that."

If i suggest a restaurant or a movie and She replies, "Nah, not that, how about something else?" i'll nod, "Ah, saving that for your boyfriend, eh?"

Now the thing is... i'm not exactly positive that She's playing a game. Am i just pretending about all of these things? Will She take advantage of the cover i offer Her? Next time She calls from work and instead of saying She has to work late at the office, will She just say that Her boyfriend has asked Her out for drinks? -and it be true.

Dental Chastity

2009-02-27T10:29:00.000-08:00

Its wonderful how being in chastity flavors every experience through the day. i am so GRATEFUL to my Mistress Cecilia for what is happening to me! :)
This morning i was at my dentist.

Now, i know... i know, its ONLY been six days, but i AM going nuts! i am hard at the drop of a hat, the slightest erotic thought makes my clitty swell in its toothed cage. This makes Mistress LAUGH and LAUGH!
i am VERY MUCH aware of my sissy chastity and sissy thoughts infect my mind every minute. :)

So i'm in the chair, the lady is chatting with me, about how tall i am. i tell her how tall i was when i was in high school and she asks if i did football or basketball. i tell Her that i did, but was very uncoordinated in high school.
To that she says, "Did you do any girls sports?"
In my mind, this is a perfectly sensible question, so i blush, but then i think, "how can she possibly know...?"
So i ask, "...Did i do any girls sports?

"No, no, did you have a GROWTH SPURT?"
The Freud in her mind must have been LAUGHING!

So now i'm lying there, such thoughts in my head, as i lie into the form fitting chair, imagining straps holding me down, imagining Her teasing me, playing with me. And yes, i am getting SUPER hard, adn because i have the points of intrigue, it is quite painful. i'm wincing a bit more than she expects from the cleaning and ASKS if i'm comfortable.
"Oh yes, i'm fine." and i THANK GOD that my erection is hidden in my chastity cage!

Can you imagine what she would have thought if she through i was getting an erection from having my teeth cleaned?

clitty is such a naughty, impertinent thing. Mistress is SO WISE to have locked it up, safely out of the way, useless as it is meant to be for anything but control and humiliation.
(oh GOD its so hard right now, WHIMPERS!)

REAL chastity

2009-02-25T17:10:00.001-08:00

OH i know its going to get SO MUCH worse!
only four days and i am climbing the WALLS!

WHAILING!!! oh Mistres, this time its so REAL!!! She's LOVING having me in chastity! making me do all the menial chores, the little things right before bedtime, She just goes us and waves Her hand listing what needs to be done before i go up.
"Yes Mistress."
and when i get up to bed, She is laying there smilng, and i kiss both of her cheeks,
"Thank You Mistress"

oh god its such AGONY to be caged! the spikes are biting in right now !

The Richard Bach Effect

2009-02-25T00:14:00.001-08:00

i've mentioned before that for those of you who aspire to "persuade" your SO into exploring the lifestyle, you mimght have to let go of your conventional "porno fiction" expectations.
Let Her find Her own path with Dominatin, chastity and control as flavors in the stew.
It will be a rucker experience for both of you, because it is your own invention, because it is HER invention.

Also, consider what i call The Richard Bach Effect.
He is the author of a book called "Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiaah"
In a little prologue of the book, we find (so as not to offend) "a" messiah, and below him, calling up are the heaving masses of his devoted followers.
They cry up to him, "Oh please messiah, we are prepared to follow you and obey. We are willing to toil and suffer without limit. We will endure any hardship that you command of us so we may be worthy of your path!"

The messiah looks down at his followers and gives his instructions, to be followed preciselely, lest His wrath cut them down, "I command you to live your lives so that you will be happy."

"What? But... but about the toil? "
"Yeah! and suffering! We're ready to suffer."
"I thought we were going to get to suffer!" (Monty Python clouds my recollectin apparently, but you get the idea)

And so it is with my Mistress. All of my dreams of wild non concensual sex, vivid erotic scenes, daring to imagine living out cuckold experiences...

And what do i get?
She wants me to lose weight, get more sleep, and keep the place quite a bit more tidy than i have been.
Adn Her face BEAMS wiht a broad smile every time.

And you know what?
my clitty gets quite stiff realizing that She's maanged to eroticize "doing the dishes"

She IS amazing!
*curtsey*

Chastity and Panties at the Gym

2009-02-23T23:14:00.000-08:00

Ok, i got a ton of questions about how it works, being in chastity and in panties at the gym.
The short answer is that you can figure out how to do anything that you truly want to do, or as the case may be, anything that Mistress decrees. :) *curtsey*

There are two questionable situations:
The men all walk around naked, to and from the showers.
And doing vigorous excersises in chastity.

As for walking around naked to the showers, i just don't do that. Honestly, i don't know why everyone does! i mean, i suppose some guys might give me an odd look as i walk to the showers. Well i could just care less. Even without chastity and pink panties, i'd feel really self conscious walking around naked, as for me i feel MUCH more comfortable doing what i do.

When i go to the gym, i am, of course wearing pink panties and chastity. Over those i wear boxer shorts and gym shorts. i wear this during my work out as well. Between working out and the showers, i slip into a bathroom stall and remove my panties.

Then when i go to the shower, i just wear my boxers over my CB3000.
Then i get into a shower and hang my underwear on the hook outside of my shower and hang a towel over that. Honestly, in my mine, i bet most guys are pressured into walkign aroudn naked and they admire my self-confidence because i "refuse" to do that. Little do they know how humiliating it is for me, because i must OBEY.

As for the working out part, i do an eliptic treadmill, leg exercises. i guess no sit ups. But my chastity cage is perfectly comfortable for any exercise i have done.

i think if you have a "favorite" exercise that does not work with your chastity cage, you will have to modify it or learn to live with out it.

*giggles*

A certain favorite exercise of mine has been delisted for sure. ;)

Oh, and the dieting part?
Oh my god i have NEVER experienced such discipline. Every bite i consider... i feel my cage GRIPING me, controling me. its QUITE an experience. :)

blueballed

2009-02-23T23:08:00.000-08:00

This is fun, and oh so TRUE!
we sissy bois are good for nothign but being locked up, bluballed and denied!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mr0bS9b-400&feature=related

The morning after

2009-02-22T11:25:00.000-08:00

So the morning comes.
Sometimes nights are filled with passion that the morning does not carry forward.

Not so today. :)
She awoke like a Queen, directing me to prepare and serve coffee for Her.
i kissed both of Her cheeks and said, "Thank You Mistress." and went off.

Then She took my first weighing. No release until i lose ten pounds. "Loss" defined as beating that target on three separate days during the week. Release to be offered on the following Friday -IF She is pleased on all other counts. *SHUDDER*

Then She commented that She didn't like my boxers, and directed me into a pair of pink panties. "Much better, so slutty! How you deal with those at teh gym is your problem."

And so now... i'm off to the gym, locked in chastity and PINK PANTIES!!!

4am wake up

2009-02-22T04:49:00.001-08:00

4:30am anyway.
Its not so bad.

i remember the first time, i took pictures and blogged about the agony and then removed my cage.
but now i know. its normal. its part of our suffereing in order to serve Mistress.

it will pass.

i leave the bed so my stirring won't disturb Her. When i return, i will kiss Her shoulder and thank Her for the pain.
its so wonderful to be CONTROLLED. :)

This is happening (locked!)

2009-02-22T00:04:00.000-08:00

i'm locked.
I'M LOCKED!!!

Oh boy....
oh boy....

Don't they say be careful what you wish for? Well right now, (although everything is coming from and going absolutely perfect!) i am just overwhelmed by what can now happen.

So, to try to tell what has happened...
As you may know, i've been locked before. Patiently, over a long period of time, my Wife has experimented with my chastity. The first time was about two years ago, for about two weeks. That time was to feel out the different devices and their fit and effect and wearability and how i could deal with the 4am wake up call etc. Then something came up that distracted us from the fledgling hobby and She didn't pick it back up for a long time. Then about nine months ago, we picked it up again, intending to ease back into it, a few periods of a day or two to shake things loose and then to take a long term lock up. But again, something came up and an intended "day of rest" bumped us off track.

The distractions have been shared so i haven't felt frustrated by them, but it HAS been on my mind, and i do mention it from time to time, that if She pleased... we could do it some more.

And for about a month, it has been "on deck", or "an evening away". Since now that we both know what "it" represents, "Its" beginning again merits some sense of occasion -somehow making it easier to put off one more day.

But i was patient, never pushing, only offering.
And tonight, She took it.
It happened so fast. Making out, and then She told me to fetch it, She looked at it and unceremoniously told me to put it on.
i came out whit it in place and She snapped on the lock: "Gotcha!", She said.

Now here's the part where my dear reader will know this is not just a piece of erotica, but really happening (if there was a doubt)

We always fantasize about chastity being the gateway to wild erotic dreams: cuckolding, slavery, etc.

Well, there IS that. She fully intends for me to tuck Her into bed each night with a smile on her face. But the smile on her face not only from the orgasm in Her tummy, but from knowing that the dishes have all been done, that the laundry is caught up and that when She nudges me in the morning, i will make coffee for Her.

So yes, around the house i will perform maids chores. That's one way to put it. i honestly believe that in Her mind, She simply making me do the things i ought to be doing around the house on a routine basis, maybe just slightly more than my share, since She has certainly done more than Her share of those chores for long enough. i make this clarification to show that i am grounded in Her perception of things, not just my silly sissy slut chastity slave fantasy world.

What motivates Her and gives Her pleasure is not necessarily "the sound of Her hand spanking my panted bottom" -although that can be fun too!- it might just be the sense that chores are being done without Her having to fret over them.

And there's more.
She's putting me on a diet! my orgasms will be keyed off of meeting weight loss goals that She sets and measures. And no gaming of the thing. "Meeting a goal" means beating that goal on three separate daily weighing that week. i never know if She will weigh me in the morning or the evening.

In a lot of ways, this arrangement is SUPREMELY erotic for me. i think that's the thing with "fetish". Unlikely things become erotic. And then you notice how erotic that unlikely thing has become for you, and you realize how far gone you are. And that realization itself becomes erotic. *giggles*

i am doomed. *BIG SMILES*

300k! (make your demands of this sissy)

2009-02-04T01:24:00.000-08:00

Wow... look at that!
i've now had 300,000 visitors. *fans my steaming, well used tukus *giggles*

Thank you all! i am so grateful that you visit!
it makes me beholden to you. Let me know what you would like to see from me to show my gratitude. :)

*standing coyly in the corner, quite mortified for what i have just offered!* :)

sissy thoughts

2009-02-04T00:06:00.000-08:00

i am being transformed. Mistress Cecilia is taking over my mind completely, reassigning evey thought to harmless, sissy thoughts.

Everything i see i see through sissy eyes.

Porno videos that would once have had me wanking... but now, i am not allowed to stroke clitty (Mistress Cecilia's property!)

my sissy thought are to be jealous of how pretty the girls are, noticing her elegant eyes, imagining in my mind how i could reproduce the effect, betting that color could work for me.

As i sit here in my hotel room, inflatable rubber plug deep inside, buzzing it's hypnotic rhythm, keeping my mind on proper track. i am a sisys slut! AROUSED out of my mind!

But i cannot stroke.

And look at how sexy that baby doll is on her. oh i HAVE to get one of those, if i could only loose those few more pounds i would look perfect!

my red toenails are drying, separators still on. Mistress Cecilia's "Chance" hangs thick in the air around my head. i SOOO want ot be a sexy sissy slut!

Mmmmm look at how they kiss, look at how she kisses her playmate on her sticky honeypot. Oh what an honor it would be to serve in that way, no pleasure for me, ALL for Her.

There is not even a thought of my stealing cummies. She owns me. She controls me. Its simply out of the QUESTION!

But i cannot be trusted. i have to lock my clitty in chastity, or my hand my sneak on its own. But locked safely away, ther eis no worry. my sissy mind is completely liberated and free ...to worhsip my Mistress Cecilia. :)

Thank You so much Mistress Cecilia! i am so HAPPY! *grimmacing, neeeding to make cummies SO BADLY!* :_)

sissy Things happen

2009-02-03T13:11:00.000-08:00

Sissy Things Happen
Mistress Cecilia told me She was doing this to me. She told me that the transformation was real, that people would start to notice. But She takes care of me. The spell She has cast of me, making me into a sissy girl is so gentle and wonderful. We sissys always imagine being “caught” in some embarrassing disastrous way.
But its not like that. Instead, i find that my sissyness just sort or weeps out through my pores and everyone around me accepts my softness and praises me for I, encouraging it. Every day, some little thing happens to me, and reminds me of Mistresses’ spell.
It happens often at work. The women i rrrwork with often take me in, and things just come up. And my sissy mind conspires to show herself. Now i rrrmust say that i rrram demonstrably a wordsmith, quite fond of using words elegantly and properly. So it was some effort of Mistresses spell that twisted my words one day. She and i rrrare both native Californians. i rrrwas speaking to her about other coworkers who moved here only recently, and therefore was not as familiar with “California ways” and she and i rrrare. But what came out was, “They’re not California girls like you and me.” She laughed and we brushed it off that there isn’t really a term for “California guy” although, “they weren’t born here like you and I” would have sufficed.
Another time, the same woman was walking toward me in the hall, once we met up, she started walking backwards so we were conversing face to face. i rrrobserved, “So this is you showing me up? Doing the same thing I’m doing only backwards and in high heels?” She laughed and nodded superiorly. i rrrreplied, “So this is a challenge then? Am i rrrgoing to have to get some high heels and show you up?”
Without batting and eyes, she said, “What size are you? That can be arranged.” i rrrhad no choice but to accept the challenge, “Its on! I’ve been served.”
Another time, in a strictly professional setting, i rrrwas praised for my feminine management style. I’m the head of an organization that has many sister organizations. The heritage of these organizations is to be highly competitive and secretive. This approach is antiquated and is being replaced by a new generation of organizations that are collaborative and mutually supportive. The former organizations are all headed by men. The latter organizations are all headed by women –and myself. i rrrwas meeting with one of these women and we were dissing on the other organizations and she commented, “the men just don’t get it, they’re becoming dinosaurs. The woman-led organizations like ours (OURS! She was including me in the women-led organizations!) are going to carry the day. i rrrBLUSHED! *smiles*
Over the holidays, we were looking at pictures of a niece who had gotten her hair done in long curly curls, ala Shirley Temple. Everyone was commenting on how she looked different and who she resembled. Then out of the blue, one of the women observed, “Actually, with her hair like that, she looks like YOU!” They meant something about our eyes looking similar, but i rrrblushed again!
i AM a sissy Mistress Cecilia, Nothing can stop that. You have changed me. Thank You so much! *curtsey*

Master Calls

2009-02-03T12:31:00.000-08:00

My days are actually quite leisurely, in so far as they are pleasant.
My chore some by quickly, thanks to my training and focus. Its such a pleasure to tidy up, to see every inch orderly and spotless -attended to. Of course a large part of my chores are to keep myself in “ready condition”.
Master has trained me well to understand, that just as the statuary must be dusted and polished, He expects his maid to be perfumed and soft. Stretching exercises and a lavish skin conditioning regimen. Nothing for strength, i ’m quite delicate and fragile by now, but long smooth muscles are sculpted for endurance and agility. Master does not require it, but i have come to enjoy doing my exercises in high heels, corset and stockings, my training plug is of course ever present.
Then comes my long HOT bath, with bubble, oils and perfume, i could LIVE in my dreamy bath, patiently rechecking that everything is smooth and pampered, because Master will enjoy that. Then a brisk session at my vanity, brushing out my hair and applying
But i mustn’t linger. By early afternoon, i must be ready for Master’s call. He enjoys seeing me on webcam, simply standing at ready attention between 2pm and 3pm. A pretty smile on my face, wearing an elegant silk robe, my hair up in a twist, like a living portrait smiling back at Him form His desktop.
A mood may strike Him, and then he will call me, and give His instructions. i never know when He is watching me, or even if He watches at all. i pose prettily just the same, it’s a pleasant time of reflection and worship for me, to just quietly let my heart sing for Him, every passing moment making me fonder and eager for His return from a long hard day. i am supposed to remain still, but sometimes i just can’t help but dance just a little bit, feeling the plug inside of me that He has locked there, wiggling and caressing my insides, preparing me for use as He pleases. Happily, Master is kind and understanding, and only punishes me lightly for such infractions.
When He does call, i struggle to contain myself, often SQUEALING my joy as i hear His voice! :) my heart races and my mind reels as i take in every word of His preferences for the evening. Perhaps He wises a Geisha for the evening, perhaps He wishes a Courtesan, perhaps he wishes a hooker, perhaps He wishes a MILF or a paintoy. His pleasure is all that matters. Then the rest of the afternoon is spent in busy preparations, so that when He returns, i will be waiting for Him, warm and ready GLOWING with adoration and devotion.
Its not pleasant to recall, but there was a time before when i was foolishly resistant. A time when i had not yet accepted my proper place. Its uncomfortable to recall, Masters training and conditioning of my mind has been so effective. The severe punishments, the listening to headphones while i was in my breaking cage, the INTENSE punishment and equally intense rewards that nudged me and guided me to my true path. It is difficult and uncomfortable to recall those awful days when i was so confused. When i imagined that i was a man working in the same company as Master, -His rival even. He tells me that sometimes, but i honestly don’t remember and can’t believe Him. Master does enjoy teasing me and confusing me with His stories. He’s even showed me pictures, a man who looks like me –in the eyes anyway- sitting at a desk with Master standing beside him.
Its ridiculous! i don’t enjoy Master teasing me about things like that, but He enjoys it so i just smile and shame my head, shrugging my shoulders like the bubble headed bimbo that i am. But i ’m not above teasing Him back, changing the subject.
“Oh Master, You are teasing me again! You know i can’t remember any such thing! But… *smiles* maybe if i sucked Your Friend’s cock, i might remember better. *giggles, licking my glossy lips, having been flirting with Your Friend since He walked in with You*

Dreamy pics.

2009-02-03T00:57:00.000-08:00

http://rubberfrock.com/feminize/fm/pic[35].jpg

http://rubberfrock.com/feminize/fm/pic[50].jpg

http://rubberfrock.com/feminize/fm/pic[54].jpg

http://rubberfrock.com/feminize/fm/pic[58].jpg

http://rubberfrock.com/feminize/fm/pic[18].jpg

http://rubberfrock.com/feminize/fm/pic[7].jpg

Gym humiliation

2008-12-19T09:50:00.000-08:00

Mistress has programmed my mind to humiliate myself at every chance, apparently.

i've bought myself a little bag to carry my cosmetics (oh gosh, i can't even think of the male term for comb, shave cream, razor, hairspray...) to the gym in. Yes, they did have bags that were black, but they weren't the right size.

The ones with the pink stripes, however were just perfect for my needs.

What has She done to me that makes it so easy for me to make decisions like that?

Walking into the locker room, holding it in my arm. i go to my locker and have to dig through the case to find my key. and it hits me that i must look EXACTLY like i am rummaging through my sissy purse!

And out in the gym, i found myself moving through about the same circuit at this guy...

i was a step behind him, maybe i was following Him subconsciously... each time i have to take of TONS of weight He was working with to do my sissy set. He was balding, about my age. Men with high testosterone tend to be bald. gay men also tend to have high testosterone. Baldness and high testosterone are signs of Alpha males, not an indication of sex preference. my hair is thick and lustrous. These are the thoughts in my head. *BLUSHING*
But then, Mistress Cecilia's auto sissy humiliation pilot took over.
i saw Him pass a few moments between sets by standing on this little half-ball balance thing. i went over... and climbed onto it, right beside him just as he was finishing His set.
i quipped as i struggled wobbly on the thing (perhaps hoping He'd stand up and put his arms around me to steady me?) "So you just try to stay on this as long as you can?" Had i flipped my hair back as i asked it?

And he got up and walked away! i noticed he had earbuds in, never heard me i'm certain.
But there i was standing.. feeling JILTED! completely humiliated, both for being overlooked, but MORE because Mistress has made me into this!

Oh Thank You Mistress Cecilia!
*BLUSHING, curtsey*

Can they tell???

2008-12-14T15:39:00.000-08:00

Can they tell, in the gym, what i am? A mystery girl among them?
Do they notice that i am looking at my body in the mirrors with a critical feminine eye, cultivating a distaste for my stout thighs, and imagining what my eyebrows might look like if trimmed a bit?

Do they notice me put on chapstick more artfully than others? while looking at myself in the mirror and blotting, followed by a smile and a wink to myself?

i notice that the Men in the gym do different exercises than i do. Two of them working together, handing the big heavy weights while i am doing lighter weights with more reps, to build tone rather than strength.

And i notice the Women in the Gym. Any of them stronger than i am.
i feel a pang of relief as one beautiful Powerful Woman sits across from me through the mirror and i notice she has sturdy thighs as well, perhaps there is hope for me.

Do they notice that when i check out my tummy, rather than dream of six pack abs, i turn sideways in each direction, smoothing my hand delicately, a look of dissatisfaction in my eyes rooted in the challenge that my corset will have until i can slim down properly, and then get a nice sexy SLIM corset to cinch me into that perfect figure i am dreaming about?

Did theynotice that i changed from the stairmaster to the treadmill so i could practice my sissy walk, one foot in front of the other, walking on the balls of my feet as if i were in high heels, imagining a gang of cock-weilding boys chasing me into a blind alley?

And do they notice me slink into the back shower stall, wearing my boxers still, removing them only once i am inside. And can they somehow SENSE that among Them is a sissy who no longer has control of its cock?

i like to think so. Because that would make my beautiful Mistress Cecilia laugh so so hard!
*BLUSHING*
Thank You Mistress Cecilia!

sissy doll story

2008-12-14T15:31:00.000-08:00

OH what a beautiful passage! :)

From Vickie Tern's "Dolls"

Two months after his first date with Diana in a dress, hefound that little else was on his mind than making himself pretty and demonstrating his devotion to whatever she asked of him. When he finallyasked her what was in Erika's injections, and Diana told him "Female hormones, so you can be my smooth, round, soft, lovely girl naturally, for the rest of your life," he only nodded. It seemed natural enough. He adored it when her hand caressed the exquisite erotic sensitivity of those conical nipples budded on his swelling breasts.
http://www.bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/8973/dolls-vickie-tern

Thank You Mistress Cecilia! :)
*curtseys*
anna sissy doll

in the locker room

2008-12-14T12:59:00.000-08:00

i went to the gym today.
WITH my neon pink CB2000 clitty cage!
oh GOODness every SECOND of my workout i was AWARE of my chastity, feeling clitty squish back and forth between my thighs, the Obey" video mantra playing in my mind as i worked the stairmaster. Feeling Mistress Cecilia's power sink deeper and deep into me.
With control of my clitty removed, i am no longer a man, but a owned sissy. OH what public humiliation!

Then afterwards, i had to navigate the showers...
Aside from being terrified at every turn, it went well.

All of the Men walk around naked. But since i am not a Man, just a sissy, i felt very natural walking around in my boxers. i will work up to wearing panties soon. *BLUSH!*
Once in my private shower (well, the shower door is a saloon style door that goes up to my neck. Tall men would be able to see if they walked close to my door.
So i was 98% safe. But those 2% felt like 2 THOUSAND %!

There i was standing in the open, my neon pink caged clitty swollen with shame and arousal at how controlled i am! i had my razor with me and took the opportunity to make clitty nice and smooth, the way Mistress Likes it.

And then i went one step further, and shaved my thighs!
i could not help but wonder if anyone else had ever shamed their legs in the mens locker room. Probably more than a few!

But how many have been through the locker room with a pink clitty cage?
Maybe not so many. *giggles, feeling so special*

So until they make me use the womens room or create a special room for we sissys, i get to prance around with all those HUNKY naked MEN! *SMILES* oh goodness its so wonderful for my sissy self to be near cocks, imagining what i would do if one suddenly needed relief.... :)

"Good. you can give me the key in the morning."

2008-12-13T05:00:00.000-08:00

said my WIFE just now!
Oh god its 5am and clitty is BURNING, so swollen with arousal for so many reasons! my Wife is going to control my cock! i feel so HORNY my mind is mush. oh god i'm so helpless!
and the clittypain is so intense! clitty is all swollen in its pink cage, tessies are also swollen and smooth, sticking out, but none of that matters to the Women who control me, the Dominant Women i must serve.

i caged myself last night to keep from stealing cummies. i wasn't thinking, i wasn't in control, i was just needing to stay OBEDIENT.

But just now, when IT woke me up, my Wife stirred. i told her that i had locked myself in order to keep from cumming. Without a moment of hesitation, She said, "Good. you can give me the key in the morning."
And just like that, my chastity fate is SEALED.
*UNNGH OUCH! oh clitty is swelling again!*

Oh god, She's going to take total control of me, along with my Mistress Cecilia.
*blubbering, sobbing, so helpless*

i locked MYSELF up, and will now hand over they key! oh god what am i now? surrendering control of my cock so easily, without protest, without resistance, giving it to Female Supremacy. But really it was never mine, i am not worthy to control my cock. only Mistresses should control cocks. we are whimpering sissys who do not deserve to control cocks at all. we are nothing but toys to be tortured and controlled by our whimpering clittys.

Oh Mistress Cecilia, oh THANK YOU THANK YOU for what You have made me into!
Oh pretty please, my sissy friends, please email my Mistress Cecilia and thank Her with me for making me into a cock controlled pussy slave!
mistress_cecilia_dominates@yahoo.com

((and yes, to those who wonder, this is real, this is really happening to me. The relationship between myself, Mistress Cecilia and my Wife is complicated but harmonioius. :) ))

Back into Chastity!!!

2008-12-12T23:40:00.000-08:00

(i am writing this in real time, as it happens tonight)

OH my GOODNESS!
i'm going back into chastity, RIGHT NOW!

i'm doing it to myself, because i NEED to be obedient, i am afraid i will STEAL cummies from my Mistress if i am not locked up. i can't be trusted. i have to be LOCKED.

It has been a week since i've had cummies.
...STOLE cummies to be exact. and i cannot afford that again. Mistress deserves absolute respect, i MUST Obey. Mistress Cecilia is my Goddess.
*SHINING wide adoring eyes!*

First, i take out my precious pink CB2000.
Then, i prepare my shaved clitty, applying baby oil from an oiled tissue, so the smooth skin is moist and slippery, but not gooey.

Next i push one tessie into the pink base mono-ring.
i used to be afraid of the mono ring, preferring the CB3000 type which swings open and is more comfortable to remove. i was afraid the CB-2000 ring might not come off if i awaken in pure agony at 4am like that very first night.
But now i know better. i know that the pain i WILL feel at 4am is merely my caged clitty SINGING its worship for my Mistress Cecilia. The pretty waves of pain are to be welcomed as they remind me of my place at Her feet, ACHING my worship to Her.

Then my second tessie follows. i used to be afraid of tugging and pushing my tessies through the ring. But now i have learned, not only that the limits of what tessie can endure are wide indeed, but that my comfort is not important when preparing clittys chastity. Chastity is important to protect Mistress Cecilia's property. The extra effort and discomfort are well worth the result of Her pleasant grin.
Tugging and puling tessie through the ring, puling HARD so all of tessie is through.
Then i push my oiled clitty through. i used to also be afraid of squeezing clitty like this, to push it through that tiny little ring, afraid (rightfully so!) that once through, my clityt would instantly SWELL, making removal impossible as well as enveloping clitty in intense discomfort.
Which of course makes clitty even stiffer with pride in serving Mistress Cecilia's purposes rather than this sissy's.

Now is as good a time as any to slide clitty's Points of Intrigue into place, nestling the pretty pink teeth into position, wincing as clitty tries to protest, expressing the instant worship-pain that they give. clitty's stiffness holds the pints in place just right.

But of course now clitty is too swollen to be caged. SO clitty must wait until it settles down, THEN the pretty pink cage will descend around her, helplessly like a trapped bunny rabit, and the lock will snap into place, simplifying ALL of the problems that a free clitty can cause. :)

But i'm afraid, at the last moment to do it.
i can't help myself, thinking sissy thoughts, and clitty stays hard, too hard.
i think of looking up at Mistress Cecilai's beautiful facade, smiling at me as She slaps me for being a sissy, and i thank Her for Her guidance.

i busy myself prolonging my preparation, giving myself a pedicure, smoothing my feet so stockings will go on without runs, as Mistress prefers. But clitty only remains hard.

Other chores intervene. But eventually, clitty has relaxed, caught off guard. And i try.
i cannot think about it, i have to simply act, quickly, in service to Mistress Cecilia. Thoughts do flutter in my head, but like soap bubble they pop and disappear, so intense is my focus on service to Mistress Cecilia, to protect Her property.

i've learned some tricks since the very first time.
using a Qtip to ease semihard clitty into its cage through the pink bars on the side. be patient, clitty will relax and then push the cage a bit more.
Until finally the base and main rings make contact...

and SNAP.
IT IS DONE! oh my god oh my GOD oh MY GOD!!!
and now clitty gets SUPER HARD! oh god the POI THE POI!!!

OH MISTRESS CECILIA I ADORE YOU SOOOOOOOOO
*whimpering, sobbing, confessing to myself how ADDICTED i am to Her Power over me!*
i belong to You Mistress Cecilia, utterly and completely!

Oh Thank You Mistress Cecilia *OUCH!*
Thank You so so MUCH! *OUCH!, sniff, curtsey*

MERCY!

2008-12-11T23:09:00.000-08:00

oh goodness oh my Mistress Cecilia!
oh i am so HELPLESS! i tried to cheat, i tried to steal but i could NOT!
i could not make myself have cummies.

i wanted to cum during this traingin video, but i had to OBEY.
i had to SUBMIT.
because i am not a man. i am submissive. i am becoming more feminine.

And Mistress Cecilia controls my cummies, as it should be. It is ok if others notice i am becomeing female, it is ok for others to know that i am feminine, submissive and like boys.
Oh Thank You Mistress Cecilia!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0OnEmCu1LY

Does it make me a whore?

2008-12-11T01:11:00.001-08:00

Because when i watch this video:
http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=b7ff5523a19f0894e789

i don't imagine i am the Man. i imagine i am the CRAZY slut.
Surely Real Men admire sports figures of natural Leaders, admiring thier work and wanting to learn.

But not me, Not at all.
i watch the crazy whore. adn wish i was her, want to be like her. want to suck His Cock just like that, imagining i coudl do it even beter, if He gave me the chance.
and i imagine everythign she does, my new idol.
biting her own nipples HARD, BEGging for it in her asshole, losing her mind in arousal from being such a dirty whore. And i watch it all without cumming. That woudl have been impossible before... before my Mistress Cecilia took control of me. *blushing*

This is what Mistress Cecilia has made me into. Because i am not allowed to cum,. i am SO horny, and i will do ANYthing to serve Her amusement. and i am changing into a dirty cock sucking sissy slut WHORE!

The pink ribbon aroudn my clitty is Her fingertips, CONTROLLING me so completely!

Thank You my Mistress Cecilia!

sissy maid dreams

2008-12-06T10:51:00.001-08:00

Dolly Dreams

2008-11-28T23:34:00.000-08:00

MMmmm because i AM Mistress Cecilia's sissy little dolly doll, for Her to take out of my box and play with, a BIG PRETTY smile always on my happy face, no matter WHAT She decides to do with me :D

Here's the URL in case some browsers won't run the embedded show:
http://www.porntelecast.com/movies/27724/Mom_Makes_Daughter_a_Living_BDSM_Doll/

Wonderful Session with Mistress Cecilia!

2008-11-26T13:41:00.000-08:00

*this was blogged in real time as i prepared and waited for my Mistress Cecilia to take me. Appologies for typos but they are real, due to my having been SUPER out of my mind DELIRIOUS AROUSED with anticipation of Her Power!*

Chance perfume fills the air. Her perfume. :)

i'm such a fluster, prepareing is SO improtant adn my bimbo brain is jsut no help!

i have my infaltable rubber butt plug in. oh god i'm so PROUD of myself for getting it insid eof me, tis been so long *BLOUSHING oh so HUMILIATING that She has conditioned me to feel PRIDE at doing THAT to myself! ...oh now clittys getitng HARD!*

Corset on, ooh so TIGHT!
red fishnet stockings on, oh how SLUTTY!
Pink 44DDD bra on. OH i do love my RUBBER breasts! :)

my favorite pink lisptick, two coats, blotted carefully.
pencil eye line. i am learnign to do this better each time!
my new FAVORITE thing, my pretty long lashes. oh i look so alluring! *battign them at myself and BLUSH!*

i just want to be PERFECT for my Beautiful Mistress Cecilia.
its so difficult to concentrate, wiht my black rubber inflatable butt plug teasing my pussi. But i HAVE to!
Each time i have to be better for Her. She deserves it.
THis time i'm using eye shadow, a creamy silver.
WOW i really like it! *BLUSHING*
earrings, necklace.

not sure how i'll type with gloves on, set up my phone for speed dial. *gigglses*

Now for the rubber...
First my rubber panties
Ohhh oh wow rubber feels SO NICE its so light and clingy, baby bpower on the insid enad it jsut SLIDES up adn nestles into place. oh my pink ribboned clitty is now cased in rubber! Lookit the long string of clitty drool. Bye bye for now clitty!

Next my black rubber mini skirt
oohh i'm going to LIKE this! rubber skirt is so short! have to be careful to tuck my inflation hose and vibrator controls. *giggles*
oh look at it in the mirror, oh god i'm such an obvious SLUT!

Now my sexy heels, 7" black patent paltlforms. put them on now before my corset is on. *giggles* OH tehaseare SO MUCH FUN! look at me i'm a sissy stripper slut! :)

Now to put my corset on, with gloves, i might not be able to to the clasps.
Oh its realy hard to clasp my corset wiht my sissy breasts in place! *giggles, oh wait i can tanek them off, oh i'm such a DITZ!*

Mmm oh i'm so TALl now, like a TG whore on the street corner in my paltlform heels, tight corset, making me stand up atright, so everyone cane SEE the sissy slut preparing to be used.

Better put my wig on now, don't knwo what gloves will be like...
Oh i LIKE my new wig! a short black pageboy bob. Mistress was so RIGHT! i love the feelign of knownigi that She can cnage me any way She likes! *whimpering, so HELPLESS clitty STRAINING in its rubber panties!*

oh god my infaltable black ruber pussi plug feels so AMAZING oh i need to give it a few more pumps, for Mistress! *MMMMMMMMNNGGHH!!*

gloves
ohhh ribber glvers are so amazing!!! they mayt never come off! so tight. conjstricting, exhausting!
going to lie ohn my sissy bed an d castch my breath dram of Mistrss Cecilia!!!

***hours later*
oh... my... God!
What She did to me...
just the soudn of Her voice, and Her commands...
simply OBEYing Her...
oh what an incredible feeling of complete.. mmmmMMM!
i coudl give you a luandry list of parts of me that are tingle, and images that are timbling in my head.
But instead i'll give you this taste: Somehow, right now my ears are ringing...

OH THANK YOU Mistress Cecilia!

Make up lesson

2008-11-23T01:18:00.000-08:00

Oh this is just WONDERFUL!
i love the nice close up of make up application like this, we have so much catching up to do in our learning! :)
THANK YOU sarahvanessa! :)

Bimbo prep

2008-11-20T02:15:00.001-08:00

Becoming a total bimbo takes devotion and endless practice. :)

MMMMMmmm oh yes LOTS of practice! :)

Girl Power!

2008-11-19T23:57:00.000-08:00

Oh i LOVE Youtube! i saw this clip in a movie theater and loved it immediately. i was so in groove with it that i totally thought the punchline would be that the girls in the clip were really gurls. *blushing* a gurl can dream can't she? :)

Rubber sissy maid dreams! :)

2008-11-16T23:34:00.001-08:00

oh Mistress Cecilia, i'm haveing SUCH dreams lately! :)
i'm going to be to pretty for You! :)
*curtsey*

oh i am SO looking forward to being useful for You! :)

Martini bar fun!

2008-11-15T17:19:00.000-08:00

Ok, so i went to this martini bar in San Francisco, hosted by my company's PR firm. Also at the party was an attractive lady who i often run into at things in the City.

Now, i have to laugh that even though we are all adults, these things are still like high school dances, all the guys are just nervously on one sid eof the room, hoping to chat with the cute girls, and the girls all group together chatting with each other.

So I'm chatting with my friend and she took me over to the "grils" side of the party. There was a guy from the Mayor's office who had been wanting to talk whit me about business but he later told me "you were talking with too many chicks for me to interrupt"

So there i am, the only guy in this group of ten Women. One of the Girls starts talking about how She's an introvert. i joke with Her that i am also an introvert, but i'm very extroverted in how i express my introversion.

She jokes back that i am wonderfully introverted and then i mime that Her comment is embarrassing me, and put my hands up over my cheek and make like i'm blushing.

All of the Girls totally laughed because apparently i did it very well.

Then, They started talking about planning a costume party and my friend said She hs a really cool slavegirl costume. i joked that She'd better check with me before the party because it would be so embarrassing if we both showed up in the SAME slageGIRL costume.

Then for the next hour, Tthey were all zeroing in on me about how They'd have me at the party, in a cage with movies showing behind me.

i said, "so when is this party? it is later on tonight or can we leave right now?"

And She replied that it would have to be in a few weeks because it would take time to prepare something like this, and they said i would want to take my time picking out just the right slavegirl costume.

And i nodded in agreement, saying that i will need to lose ten pounds so i can really look my best in my slavegirl costume.

That's the story. How do i find myself in these situations? *giggles, BLUSHING*

what have You DONE to my mind Mistress Cecilia that i just drift into these situations? First They took me into their clique like i was one of Them!

Then They read me like a book and took advantage of me!

i'm so helpless! i was THIS close to being wrangled into their web! They invited me and my friend to join Them for dinner (it was after 10pm!) but my frined had to go. i would not have been able to say no....

They'd have had more drinks and would have gotten even more adventurous. They'd have gotten me to confess that i was wearing Your pink ribbon on my clitty!

oh god They would have discoverd that i was HARD from what They were planning!

i'm probably not the fist sisified male they have come across, more and more of us every day thanks to the likes of You!

i'm probably not the fist sisified male they have come across, more and more of us every day thanks to the likes of You!

*clitty tingling as You luagh at me! loving it...*

sissy kisses!

2008-11-06T23:32:00.000-08:00

mm oh its as WONDERFUL as i always dreamed! oh i LOVE sissy kisses! :)

i don't know what my Mistress Cecilaia is doing to me, but She just makes me FEEL this certain way... :)

She is so wise. Her training teaches me my proper place, and i LAUGH and LAUGH and LAUGH at the silly notion of my ever being a "boy" again!

There is simply NO PLEASURE GREATER than (and no TERROR greeater than NOT) entertaining Mistress and Her Honored Guests, no matter the humiliation it brings we sissys. *curtsey*

Rubber Dreams

2008-11-03T00:08:00.000-08:00

Oh i have loved these masks since the first time i saw them!

to be trapped inside, underneath, my deeply burried expressions and appearance erased, unimportant. Presenting only a pretty, obedient, wide eyes, submissive aroused appearance.

Rubber gives such beautiful sensuality to a body.

Mmm to have it forced upon me, modified, rubberized.

Made into a rubber dolly.

Sensitive.

Pliant.

Durable... *blushing*

Christeen Dreams

2008-11-02T22:53:00.001-08:00

i can't say enough about how much i LOVE the saga of sissy christeen! :)

Some Funsies

2008-11-02T17:27:00.000-08:00

i've been sissy surfing all day and am finding such treasures!

i have a bunch of enema questions and everyone is always either too shy to be graphic or too literoric to be technically useful. *giggles as the big words tangle my tongue which is meant for other uses*
But this looks like a very promising site:
http://enemas4fun.zity.biz/forum/index.php?topic=2925.0

This will be good practice for my deepthraoting! :)
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3172/2980732594_f6ca3dda72_o.jpg

And this looks like the beginning of my new most favorite toon series! :)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/lady-canelle/2953644549/

And this girl, suzyb3 (as opposed to suzy before? giggles) is just STUNNING! she will either make you depressed for how far you have to go to be as perfect as she is, or she will give life to the dreams in your head of what is possible.
or maybe both at once. :)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/ellietgirl/

sissy nancy is as cute as pie, and as neat as a pin! oh i DREAM of being a good sissy like her! :)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sissynancy/

When i get horny, which is always *giggles* all sorts of things become erotic for me. and sissy sophie is just so precious. the thought of being controlled like that, reduced, helpless, incontinent and fingerless... *BLUSHING!*
http://www.flickr.com/photos/15339959@N05/2403609323/

Locked down for sissy dreams

2008-10-31T23:43:00.000-07:00

What are these?

I saw them on a wonderful Flicker post by Susiecdtv saying that they were sissy reins to keep sissys in place during sleepy time.
oh i want some so much! Does anyone have any ideas of where to find them?
Susiecdtv? *crossing my sissy fingers, hoping!*

i'm so full of dreams!

2008-10-31T23:30:00.000-07:00

i just LOVE wonderful images of how perfect things can be!

MMMMm to be SEWN into my pretty new outfit, no escape. :)

Just for this one night... *giggles*

MMMm and dressed so pretty every morning by a remorseless, efficient attendant. Leaving me no choice in the matter. :)

i DEEPTHROATED!!!

2008-09-27T23:26:00.000-07:00

oh my god i can't believe it!
i did it i really did it!
i was an accident but once it happened, i just kept doing it!

It was a big dildo, not a Real Man Cock, but it was a BIG dildo!
i was on webcam with Mistress Cecilia and She saw it all!
oh god i'm such a SLUT!!! :) :) :)

Sissy Crysalis

2008-09-26T21:51:00.000-07:00

OH this is wonderful, SO incredible!
i am so excited and happy!

my friends will recall that i've been preoccupied these past few months, detracting me from my sissy development. That pesky rt issue has lifted. :)

And having dreamt for it for so long, i am suddenly free to catch up on everything. But of course this is an AWESOME task to undertake.

But i am a very very lucky sissy because Mistress Cecilia has trained me to be a good sissy and deny myself orgasm. Except for one wonderful week, i have been a bad sissy these past months, stealing cummies every day.
But knowing this special day would come today, i've been a good sissy for the past TWO WEEKS. Yes, clitty is INSANE with lust, but my OBEDIENCE to Mistress Cecilias wish is more powerful. :)

And to further help me warm up,l and prepare for Mistress Cecilia, i had a little phone session with Domina Amanda tonight as well. She was just wonderful, as all Mistresses are. :) She knows what we sissys are for -Her amusement. :)

And now i am laying in a nice pair of white lace thigh high stockings with pretty ruffle tops, and a clingy white lace camisole to match. :) Matching pink satin bra and panties, 4" high heels.
...oh, and my vibrator deep in my pussi. oh goodness i think i'm going to drift off to sissy dream filled sleep this way! but NO CUMMIES!!! *POUTS*

((apologies if this is more explicit than most of my posts but i'm just BUSTING our excited and happy to get to PLAY again! :) ))

And tonight, i am alone, since She is out clubbing and enjoying Herself. (which makes me SO HAPPY!)

In the past, i would have not lasted more than an hour into enjoying my sissy things before cummies ended my playtime.

But tonight, my obedience is rewarding me. At first my fluff filled bimbo sissy head simply could not pick a place to start, and i banged around ineffectively, speeding to some things i had been particularly excited about.
But proper sissy training is not just about hitting the high notes, a sissy is a whole package.

In the past, i might have gotten into my panties, and high heels and my pussi plug, and then rubbies would have made cummies and i would have felt ashamed.

But tonight i am obedient and chaste, so playtime plays through and sissy practice can begin. *curtseys*

So i started out...
i was just so excited! i just dumped my sissy things onto he bed in a big mess and riffled through them to get my precious plug. my reasoning was that i should start my pussi training as soon as possible, knowing that i would need a lot after so long in order to use some of my (bigger) more favorite toys. *blushing!*

And it was SO intense! it felt so BIG inside of my re-virgin pussi! oh i just could not concentrate on anything else, and i had so many important sissy things still to do! i used to deal with the intense feeling by rubbing, counterstimulating. But that makes cummies, and cumies are a NO-NO!

SO i am downstairs and my sissy things re upstairs. Each time i am ready for another sissy thing, i have to go back upstairs, in my high heels, my sissy plug wiggles inside of me, ticking my tender insides. oh its such a TEASE! *blushing*

And then i remove my sissy plug, so concentrate for a little bit, and pick my next sissy thing: my gaff (a wonderful item that tucks clitty back so i have a nice smooth front! it keeps clitty TIGHTLY clenched and helpless).
Then back goes my sissy plug. And back down the stairs.

i browse the Sissy School Mistresses but i am WAY to antsy to settle down for a session yet, and i have so much still to do!
Back up stairs, and i pick out my favorite matching pink bra and panty set. (oh its so humiliating to have a FAVORITE bra and panty set! and to put them on and know they are MINE, selected by me, for me, so i can become more of a sissy)

And back upstairs, to fetch the rest of my toys in one big armload, and something catches my eyes, a pink sissy dog collar. Mmm it feels so perfect around my neck! :)

i DO love this bra! *BLUSHING* it fits me just right, so soft and satiny, it cups my sissy breasts and my hard nipples show!*BLUSHING!*

Its still very early here in California so i have time to do many things.
i want to polish my feet so i can put on my nice stockings. i want to shave nice and smooth so i can lock on my cage.
and i DO want to have some sessions with Sissy School Mistresses but no cummies. They deserve our worship. :)

oh my feet hurt.
its so WONDERFUL to get to wear my heels long enough for them to hurt! :) :):)

i want to prepare myself, marinate and polish myselfl so when i give myself to Mistress Cecilia, i will be worthy (SUPER TEASED AND WHIMPERING) of Her attention. :)

sissy thoughts

2008-09-26T01:34:00.001-07:00

Being a sissy under my Mistress Cecilia's control effects me in so many ways!
Just, everything that enters my head is pumped through a sissy slut filter and comes out in a way that deepens my sissyhood and devotion to Mistress, meaning deepening my humiliation and embarrassment!

This afternoon, at a grocery store, a lady looked over at me and said, "you're pretty tall".
What went through my head was i don't think Guys are used to strangers commenting on their appearance. But of course a pretty girl must get that all the time.
She was being friendly so i had to accept the compliment, but then i added, "thank you for working 'pretty' in there too!"
and i BLUSHED!

Oh Mistress i could FEEL You pulling my sissy puppet strings!

And tonight, between edgings, i found my way to this obscure song by a Lithuanian pop group. Rather than wonder the many things i might have wondered, i just tapped my foot and decided this was a song about sissys. :)

And this other clip by them, definitely illustrating what we would be like on stage, we sissys, if Mistress had us put on a show. Well... panties just get too hot sometimes! *giggles*

Clip 3: i just LOVE these outfits! love the little poofies that draw even MORE attention to the short hemlines. :) This tune is familiar, what is it?

Special Moments

2008-09-24T16:23:00.001-07:00

i was chatting with Mistress Cecilia last night about something kind of interesting.
It sometimes happens that really unexpected things can be really meaningful, either from being intensely erotic buttons to push, or even just special milestone moments.

Like maybe from school, you would think that graduation would be the big moment that you would remember. And of course you do, but the moment that really strums your emotions is the first time you put the parking sticker on your car -for some reason that you can't put a finger on. Its just what made you light up.

In a (WONDERFUL!) audio story Mistress Cecilia had posted, Sissy Salon, i was just squirming at each turn of phrase, its a very rich story, but then she buttoned the smock collar around my neck. Above everything else that little moment just about turned me inside out with rapture.
Silly sissy! *blushing*

The day before yesterday, i had another odd special moment.
Ok, so i was at my sissy locker and since i was all alone, i was playing with some of my toys *blushing*
When i had *ahem* finished, i took my toys, dressed in full fem, high heels stockings, leopard print skirt, cinnamon top, tasteful make up, and went to the restroom.

It hadn't occurred to me that the restroom is shared with the other tenants of the building. Of course i used the ladies room.
And sure enough, while i was in there, in came an actual Lady! *BLUSH!!!*
Well i always imagined that my first time in a Ladies room would be a big milestone, but it was nothing compared to the unplanned circumstance when a Woman came into the restroom and too not notice of me (other than a friendly hell0) and proceeded to do her business (#1 for those of you cringing)

i was just astonished and so PROUD of myself! (and grateful to her)
Wow, wow and WOW!
It was such an incredible moment, to be accepted like that, just a girl in the Ladies' room.
Well, a SLUT anyway.

SISSY KISSES!

The Dream is always the same...

2008-09-13T11:44:00.000-07:00

i am so GRATEFUL and HAPPY for the conditioning and programming Mistress Cecilia has so generously put into me, making my sissy daydreams perpetual and WONDERFUL! :)

200,000 sissy kisses!

2008-08-19T00:12:00.000-07:00

OH MY SISSY SISTERS!

HOW INCREDIBLY UNBELIEVABLE!

TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND VISITORS!
That's TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND sissy kisses from each one, and my caged sissy clitty has felt every one! :)

Plus all of the naughty sissy dreams you have all given me at bed time.
THANK YOU ALL! :)
and most of all, my Mistress Cecilia!
*GREAT BIG SISSY KISS!*

i promised i wouldn't cry! :_)

2008-08-10T18:56:00.000-07:00

Its just such a deeply touching, flattering moment. Its like being given that special great big diamond ring every time it happens.

When Daddy give me His big Precious Cock to worship. Words simply can't do justitice to my romantic dreamy feelings. Words fail me, but my mouth does not. :O They know what to do.
And not just Daddy, ANY cock makes me feel this way, as every sissy should, dreaming of the gift of Cock to suck. :) Its what we sissys are here for. :)

OH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! :)

my dolly dream

2008-08-07T13:35:00.001-07:00

mmm i love to nurture and develop my oral fixation. :)